The Bickerstaff-Partridge Papers | Page 8

yet I have sense enough to know that all pretences of foretelling by astrology are deceits, for this manifest reason, because the wise and the learned, who can only know whether there be any truth in this science, do all unanimously agree to laugh at and despise it; and none but the poor ignorant vulgar give it any credit, and that only upon the word of such silly wretches as I and my fellows, who can hardly write or read. I then asked him why he had not calculated his own nativity, to see whether it agreed with Bickerstaff's prediction? at which he shook his head, and said, Oh! sir, this is no time for jesting, but for repenting those fooleries, as I do now from the very bottom of my heart. By what I can gather from you, said I, the observations and predictions you printed, with your almanacks, were mere impositions on the people. He reply'd, if it were otherwise I should have the less to answer for. We have a common form for all those things, as to foretelling the weather, we never meddle with that, but leave it to the printer, who takes it out of any old almanack, as he thinks fit; the rest was my own invention, to make my almanack sell, having a wife to maintain, and no other way to get my bread; for mending old shoes is a poor livelihood; and, (added he, sighing) I wish I may not have done more mischief by my physick than my astrology; tho' I had some good receipts from my grandmother, and my own compositions were such as I thought could at least do no hurt.
I had some other discourse with him, which now I cannot call to mind; and I fear I have already tired your Lordship. I shall only add one circumstance, That on his death-bed he declared himself a Nonconformist, and had a fanatick preacher to be his spiritual guide. After half an hour's conversation I took my leave, being half stifled by the closeness of the room. I imagine he could not hold out long, and therefore withdrew to a little coffee-house hard by, leaving a servant at the house with orders to come immediately, and tell me, as near as he could, the minute when Partridge should expire, which was not above two hours after; when, looking upon my watch, I found it to be above five minutes after seven; by which it is clear that Mr. Bickerstaff was mistaken almost four hours in his calculation. In the other circumstances he was exact enough. But whether he has not been the cause of this poor man's death, as well as the predictor, may be very reasonably disputed. However, it must be confess'd the matter is odd enough, whether we should endeavour to account for it by chance, or the effect of imagination: For my own part, tho' I believe no man has less faith in these matters, yet I shall wait with some impatience, and not without some expectation, the fulfilling of Mr. Bickerstaff's second prediction, that the Cardinal de Noailles is to die upon the fourth of April, and if that should be verified as exactly as this of poor Partridge, I must own I should be wholly surprized, and at a loss, and should infallibly expect the accomplishment of all the rest. ______________________________________________
An Elegy on the supposed Death of Partridge, the Almanack-Maker.
Well, 'tis as Bickerstaff has guess'd, Tho' we all took it for a jest; Partridge is dead, nay more, he dy'd E're he could prove the good 'Squire ly'd. Strange, an Astrologer shou'd die, Without one Wonder in the Sky! Not one of all his Crony Stars To pay their Duty at his Herse? No Meteor, no Eclipse appear'd? No Comet with a flaming Beard? The Sun has rose, and gone to Bed, Just as if partridge were not dead: Nor hid himself behind the Moon, To make a dreadful Night at Noon. He at fit Periods walks through Aries, Howe'er our earthly Motion varies; And twice a Year he'll cut th' Equator, As if there had been no such Matter.
Some Wits have wonder'd what Analogy There is 'twixt Cobbling* and Astrology: How Partridge made his Optics rise, From a Shoe-Sole, to reach the Skies.
A List of Coblers Temples Ties, To keep the Hair out of their Eyes; From whence 'tis plain the Diadem That Princes wear, derives from them. And therefore Crowns are now-a-days Adorn'd with Golden Stars and Rays, Which plainly shews the near Alliance 'Twixt cobling and the Planets Science.
Besides, that slow-pac'd Sign Bootes, As 'tis miscall'd, we know not who 'tis? But Partridge ended all Disputes, He knew his Trade, and call'd it **Boots.
The Horned Moon, which heretofore Upon their Shoes the