The Adventures of Roderick Random | Page 6

equally
belongs to five hundred different people. If thou shouldst meet with a
character that reflects thee in some ungracious particular, keep thy own
counsel; consider that one feature makes not a face, and that though
thou art, perhaps, distinguished by a bottle nose, twenty of thy
neighbours may be in the same predicament."

THE ADVENTURES OF RODERICK RANDOM
CHAPTER I

Of my Birth and Education
I was born in the northern part of this united kingdom, in the house of
my grand. father, a gentleman of considerable fortune and influence,
who had on many occasions signalised himself in behalf of his country;
and was remarkable for his abilities in the law, which he exercised with
great success in the station of a judge, particularly against beggars, for
whom he had a singular aversion.
My father (his youngest son) falling in love with a poor relation, who
lived with the old gentleman in quality of a housekeeper, espoused her
privately; and I was the first fruit of that marriage. During her
pregnancy, a dream discomposed my mother so much that her husband,
tired with her importunity, at last consulted a highland seer, whose
favourable interpretation he would have secured beforehand by a bribe,
but found him incorruptible. She dreamed she was delivered of a
tennis-ball, which the devil (who, to her great surprise, acted the part of
a midwife) struck so forcibly with a racket that it disappeared in an
instant; and she was for some time inconsolable for the lost of her
offspring; when, all on a sudden, she beheld it return with equal
violence, and enter the earth, beneath her feet, whence immediately
sprang up a goodly tree covered with blossoms, the scent of which
operated so strongly on her nerves that she awoke. The attentive sage,
after some deliberation, assured my parents, that their firstborn would
be a great traveller; that he would undergo many dangers and
difficulties, and at last return to his native land, where he would
flourish in happiness and reputation. How truly this was foretold will
appear in the sequel. It was not long before some officious person
informed my grandfather of certain familiarities that passed between
his son and housekeeper which alarmed him so much that, a few days
after, he told my father it was high time for him to think of settling; and
that he had provided a match for him, to which he could in justice have

no objections. My father, finding it would be impossible to conceal his
situation much longer, frankly owned what he had done; and excused
himself for not having asked the consent of his father, by saying, he
knew it would have. been to no Purpose; and that, had his inclination
been known, my grandfather might have taken such measures as would
have effectually put the gratification of it out of his power: he added,
that no exceptions could be taken to his wife's virtue, birth, beauty, and
good sense, and as for fortune, it was beneath his care. The old
gentleman, who kept all his passions, except one, in excellent order,
heard him to an end with great temper, and then calmly asked, how he
proposed to maintain himself and spouse? He replied, he could be in no
danger of wanting while his father's tenderness remained, which he and
his wife should always cultivate with the utmost veneration; and he was
persuaded his allowance would be suitable to the dignity and
circumstances of his family, and to the provision already made for his
brothers and sisters, who were happily settled under his protection.
"Your brothers and sisters," said my grandfather, "did not think it
beneath them to consult me in an affair of such importance as
matrimony; neither, I suppose, would you have omitted that piece of
duty, had you not some secret fund in reserve; to the comforts of which
I leave you, with a desire that you will this night seek out another
habitation for yourself and wife, whither, in a short time, I will send
you an account of the ex pens I have been at in your education, with a
view of being reimbursed. Sir, you have made the grand tour--you are a
polite gentleman--a very pretty gentleman--I wish you a great deal of
joy, and am your very humble servant."
So saying, he left my father in a situation easily imagined. However, be
did not long hesitate; for, being perfectly well acquainted with his
father's disposition, he did not doubt that he was glad of this pretence to
get rid of him; and his resolves being as invariable as the laws of the
Medes and Persians, he know it would be to no purpose to attempt him
by prayers and entreaties; so without any farther application, he betook
himself,