Talks on Talking | Page 6

subject.
Good conversation demands restraint, adaptability, and reasonable
brevity. There is an appalling waste of words on all sides, hence you
should constantly guard yourself against this fault. When there is
nothing worth-while to say, the best substitute is silence.
Practice self-discipline in talking. Correct any fault in yourself the
instant you recognize it. If, for example, you realize that you are talking
at too great length, stop it at once. Should you feel that you are not
giving interested attention to the speaker, check your mind-wandering
immediately and concentrate upon what is being said.
Do not be always setting other people right. This is a thankless as well
as useless task. They probably do not want your assistance, or they

would ask for it. Besides most people are sensitive about their
shortcomings, and prefer to get help and counsel in private.
There is no more important suggestion than to rule your moods.
Ofttimes the feelings run away with the judgment. What you think and
say today may be due to your present mood, rather than to matured
judgment. Let your common sense predominate at all times.
It is not well to give too strong expression to your likes and dislikes.
These, like all your feelings, should be governed with a firm hand.
Opinions advanced with too much emphasis may easily fail to impress
other minds. Remember always that your greatest ally is truth.
Therefore frankly and faithfully examine your important opinions
before giving them expression.
Resist the desire to be prominent in conversation, or to say clever and
surprising things. This is sometimes difficult to do, but it is the only
safe course to follow. If you have something brilliant or worth-while to
say, it will be best said spontaneously and with due modesty. But if
there is no suitable opportunity to say it, put it back in your mind where
it may improve with age. Egotism is taboo in polite society.
The suggestion that nothing should be allowed to pass the lips that
charity would check is invaluable advice. It is unfortunately all too
common to give hasty and harsh expression to personal opinions and
criticisms. Reticence is one of the most essential conditions of long
friendship.
Judgment and tact are necessary to good conversation. It is not well to
ask many questions, and then only those of a general character.
Curiosity should be curbed. Quite properly people resent
inquisitiveness. The best way to cultivate the rare grace of judgment is
to be mindful of your own faults and to correct them with all speed and
thoroughness.
The word "talk" is often used in a derogatory sense, and we hear such
expressions as "all talk," "empty talk," and "idle talk." But as everyone
talks, we should all do our utmost to set a high example to others of the

correct use of speech.
It is always better to talk too little than too much. Never talk for mere
talking's sake. Avoid being artificial or pedantic. Don't antagonize,
dogmatize, moralize, attitudinize, nor criticise. Talk in poise,--quietly,
deliberately, sincerely, and you will never lack an attentive audience.

PHRASES FOR TALKERS
It is said of Macaulay that he never allowed a sentence to pass muster
until it was as good as he could make it. He would write and rewrite,
and even construct a paragraph or a whole chapter, in order to secure a
more lucid and satisfactory arrangement. He wrote just so much each
day, usually an average of six pages, and this manuscript was so erased
and corrected that it was finally compressed into two pages of print.
The masters of English prose have been great workers. Stevenson and
others like him gave hours and days to the study of words, phrases, and
sentences. Through unwearied application to the art of rhetorical
composition they ultimately won fame as writers.
The ambitious student of speech culture, whether for use in
conversation or in public, will do well to emulate the example of such
great writers. One of the best ways to build a large vocabulary is to note
useful and striking phrases in one's general reading. It is advisable to
jot down such phrases in a note-book, and to read them aloud from time
to time. Such phrases may be classified according to their particular
application,--to business, politics, music, education, literature, or the
drama.
It is not recommended that such phrases should be consciously dragged
into conversation, but the practice of carefully observing felicitous
phrases, and of noting them in writing, cultivates the taste for better
words and a sense of discrimination in their use. Many phrases noted
and studied in this way will unconsciously find their way into one's
expression.

The list of phrases which follows is offered as merely suggestive. In
reading the phrases aloud it is well to think