burst, bang, roar, crash, thud! He fills
the air with vocal bullets and syllabic shrapnel. He is trumpet-tongued,
ear-splitting, deafening. He fires promiscuously at all his hearers. He
rends the skies asunder. He is nothing if not vociferous, stentorian,
lusty. He demolishes every idea in his way. He is a Napoleon of words.
The tangled talker never gets anything quite straight. He inevitably
spoils the best story. He always begins at the wrong end. Despite your
protests of face and manner he talks on. He talks inopportunely. He
becomes inextricably confused. He is weak in statistics. He has no
memory for names or places. He lacks not fluency but accuracy. He is a
twisted talker.
The triumphant talker lays claim to the star part in any conversation.
He likes nothing better than to drive home his point and then look
about exultingly. He says gleefully, "I told you so." That he can ever be
wrong is inconceivable to him. He knows the facts since he can readily
manufacture them himself. He is self-satisfied, for in his own opinion
he has never lost an argument. He is a brave and bold talker.
These, then, are some types of talking which we should not emulate.
Study the list carefully--the tiresome talker, the trifling talker, the
tedious talker, the tattling talker, the tautological talker, the tenacious
talker, the tactless talker, the temperamental talker, the tantalizing
talker, the tangled talker, the triumphant talker--and guard yourself
diligently against the faults which they represent. Talking should
always be a pleasure to the speaker and listener, never a bore.
TALKERS AND TALKING
Conversation is not a verbal nor vocal contest, but a mutual meeting of
minds. It is not a monologue, but a reciprocal exchange of ideas.
There are cardinal rules which everyone should observe in conversation.
The first of these is to be prepared always to give courteous and
considerate attention to the ideas of others. There is no better way to
cultivate your own conversational powers than to train yourself first to
be an interesting and sympathetic listener.
It is in bad taste to interrupt a speaker. This is a common fault which
should be resolutely guarded against. Moreover, your own opportunity
to speak will shortly come if you have patience, when you may
reasonably expect to receive the same uninterrupted attention which
you have given to others.
Never allow yourself to monopolize a conversation. This is a form of
selfishness practiced by many persons apparently unaware of being
ill-mannered. It is inexcusably bad taste to tell unduly long stories or
lengthy personal experiences. If you cannot abridge a story to
reasonable dimensions, it would be better to omit it entirely. The
habitual long-story teller may easily become a bore.
Avoid the habit of eagerly matching the other person's story or
experience with one of your own. There is nothing more disconcerting
to a speaker than to observe the listener impatiently waiting to plunge
headlong into the conversation with some marvellous tale. Be
particularly careful not to outdo another speaker in relating your own
experiences. If, for instance, he has just told how he caught fifty fish
upon a recent trip, do not succumb to the temptation to tell of the time
you caught fifty-one.
Be careful not to give unsolicited advice. It has been well said that
advice which costs nothing is worth what it costs. If people desire your
counsel they will probably ask for it, in which case they will be more
likely to appreciate what you have to tell them.
Do not voluntarily recommend doctors, dentists, osteopaths, pills,
coffee substitutes, health foods, health resorts, or panaceas for the ills
of mankind. If you can be of service to others in these particular
respects, it will be when you are specifically asked for such
information.
It is most imprudent to carry an argument to extremes. If you observe
an unwillingness in the other person to be convinced by what you say,
you had better turn to another subject. Conversation should never
resolve itself into controversial debate.
It is well to avoid discursiveness, over-use of parentheses, and
positiveness of statement. Keep your desires and feelings from
over-coloring your views. A flexible attitude of mind is more likely to
win an opponent to your way of thinking.
Take special pains to enter into the minds and feelings of others. Be
interested in what they want to talk about. Let your interest be deep and
sincere. Adopt the right tone, temper, and reticence in your
conversation.
You should accustom yourself to look at things from the other person's
standpoint. It is surprising how this habit enlarges the vision and gives
a charitableness to speech which might otherwise be absent. It is well
to remember that no person can possibly have a monopoly of
knowledge upon any
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