Swingin Round the Cirkle. | Page 3

and despair.
I mite say more, but wherefore? Ez the record uv a year uv hopes and
fears, uv exaltation and depression, it may possess interest or may
not--'cordin to the style uv the reader. Whatever may be its fate, one
thing I am certin uv, to wit: I am a reglerly commissioned P.M.; and
while the approval of the public mite lighten the toils uv offishl life and

sweeten the whisky wich the salary purchases, the frowns uv the said
public can't redoose me to the walks uv private life. They can't frown
me out uv offis, nor frown P.M. General Randall's name off my
commishn.
P.V.N.
POST OFFIS, CONFEDRIT × ROADS (wich is in the State uv
Kentucky), Oct. 1, 1866.

SWINGIN ROUND THE CIRKLE.

I.
After the New Jersey Election, 1865.
SAINT'S REST (wich is in the State uv Noo Gersey), November, 9,
1865.
Never wuz I in so pleasant a frame uv mind as last night. All wuz peace
with me, for after bein buffeted about the world for three skore years, at
last it seemed to me ez tho forchune, tired uv persekootin a unforchnit
bein, hed taken me into favor. I hed a solemn promise from the
Demekratic State Central Committy in the great State uv Noo Gersey,
that ez soon ez our candidate for Governor wuz dooly elected, I shood
hev the position uv Dorekeeper to the House uv the Lord (wich in this
State means the Capital, & wich is certainly better than dwellin in the
tents uv wicked grosery keepers, on tick, ez I do), and a joodishus
exhibition uv this promise hed prokoored for me unlimited facilities for
borrerin, wich I improved, muchly.
On Wednesday nite I wuz a sittin in my room, a enjoyin the pleasin
reflection that in a few days I should be placed above want & beyond
the contingencies uv fortune. Wood! oh wood! that I hed died then and
there, before that dream ov bliss wuz roodly broken. A wicked boy cum

runnin past with a paper wich he hed brot from the next town where
there lives a man who takes one. He flung it thro the window to me and
past on. I opened it eagerly, and glanced at the hed lines!
"NOO GERSEY--5,000 REPUBLIKIN!"
One long and piercin shreek wuz heard thro that house, and wen the
inmates rushed into the room they found me inanymate on the floor.
The fatal paper lay near me, explainin the cause uv the catastrophe. The
kind-hearted landlord, after feelin uv my pockets and diskiverin that the
contents thereof wood not pay the arrearages uv board, held a hurried
consultation with his wife as to the propriety uv bringin me to; he
insisting that it wuz the only chance uv gittin what wuz back--she
insistin that ef I was brung to I'd go on runnin up the bill, bigger and
bigger, and never pay at last. While they was argooin the matter, pro
and con, I happened to git a good smell uv his breath, wich restored me
to consciousniss to-wunst, without further assistance.
When in trouble my poetic sole alluz finds vent in song. Did ever poet
who delited in tombs, and dark, rollin streams, and consumption, and
blighted hopes, and decay, and sich themes, ever hev such a pick of
subjects ez I hev at this time? The follerin may be a consolation to the
few Dimokrats uv the North who have gone so far into copperheadism
that they can't change their base:--
A WALE!
In the mornin we go forth rejoicin in our strength--in the evenin we are
bustid and wilt!
Man born uv woman (and most men are) is uv few days, & them is so
full uv trouble that it's skarsely worth while bein born at all.
In October I waded in woe knee-deep, and now the waters uv
afflickshun are about my chin.
I look to the east, and Massychusets rolls in Ablishun.

To the west I turn my eyes, and Wisconsin, and Minnesota, and Illinoy
ansers Ablishun.
Southward I turn my implorin gaze, and Maryland sends
greetin--Ablishun. In New York we had em, for lo! we run a soljer,
who fought valiantly, and we put him on a platform, wich stunk with
nigger--yea, the savor thereof wuz louder than the Ablishun platform
itself.
But behold! the people jeer and flout, and say "the platform stinketh
loud enough, but the smell thereof is not the smell uv the Afrikin--it is
of the rotten material uv wich it is composed, and the corrupshun they
hev placed upon it"--and New York goes Ablishun.
Slocum held hisself up, and sed, "Come and buy." And our folks
bought him and his tribe, but he getteth not his price.
NOO GERSEY--ABLISHUN!!
Job's cattle wuz slain by