Sketches of Young Couples | Page 7

an immense exertion--as indeed it did. At
first we raced the other boat, which came alongside in gallant style; but
this being found an unpleasant amusement, as giving rise to a great
quantity of splashing, and rendering the cold pies and other viands very
moist, it was unanimously voted down, and we were suffered to shoot
a- head, while the second boat followed ingloriously in our wake.
It was at this time that we first recognised Mr. Leaver. There were two
firemen-watermen in the boat, lying by until somebody was exhausted;
and one of them, who had taken upon himself the direction of affairs,
was heard to cry in a gruff voice, 'Pull away, number two--give it her,

number two--take a longer reach, number two--now, number two, sir,
think you're winning a boat.' The greater part of the company had no
doubt begun to wonder which of the striped Guernseys it might be that
stood in need of such encouragement, when a stifled shriek from Mrs.
Leaver confirmed the doubtful and informed the ignorant; and Mr.
Leaver, still further disguised in a straw hat and no neckcloth, was
observed to be in a fearful perspiration, and failing visibly. Nor was the
general consternation diminished at this instant by the same gentleman
(in the performance of an accidental aquatic feat, termed 'catching a
crab') plunging suddenly backward, and displaying nothing of himself
to the company, but two violently struggling legs. Mrs. Leaver shrieked
again several times, and cried piteously--'Is he dead? Tell me the worst.
Is he dead?'
Now, a moment's reflection might have convinced the loving wife, that
unless her husband were endowed with some most surprising powers of
muscular action, he never could be dead while he kicked so hard; but
still Mrs. Leaver cried, 'Is he dead? is he dead?' and still everybody else
cried--'No, no, no,' until such time as Mr. Leaver was replaced in a
sitting posture, and his oar (which had been going through all kinds of
wrong-headed performances on its own account) was once more put in
his hand, by the exertions of the two firemen-watermen. Mr. Leaver
then exclaimed, 'Augustus, my child, come to me;' and Mr. Leaver said,
'Augusta, my love, compose yourself, I am not injured.' But Mrs.
Leaver cried again more piteously than before, 'Augustus, my child,
come to me;' and now the company generally, who seemed to be
apprehensive that if Mr. Leaver remained where he was, he might
contribute more than his proper share towards the drowning of the party,
disinterestedly took part with Mrs. Leaver, and said he really ought to
go, and that he was not strong enough for such violent exercise, and
ought never to have undertaken it. Reluctantly, Mr. Leaver went, and
laid himself down at Mrs. Leaver's feet, and Mrs. Leaver stooping over
him, said, 'Oh Augustus, how could you terrify me so?' and Mr. Leaver
said, 'Augusta, my sweet, I never meant to terrify you;' and Mrs. Leaver
said, 'You are faint, my dear;' and Mr. Leaver said, 'I am rather so, my
love;' and they were very loving indeed under Mrs. Leaver's veil, until
at length Mr. Leaver came forth again, and pleasantly asked if he had

not heard something said about bottled stout and sandwiches.
Mrs. Starling, who was one of the party, was perfectly delighted with
this scene, and frequently murmured half-aside, 'What a loving couple
you are!' or 'How delightful it is to see man and wife so happy
together!' To us she was quite poetical, (for we are a kind of cousins,)
observing that hearts beating in unison like that made life a paradise of
sweets; and that when kindred creatures were drawn together by
sympathies so fine and delicate, what more than mortal happiness did
not our souls partake! To all this we answered 'Certainly,' or 'Very true,'
or merely sighed, as the case might be. At every new act of the loving
couple, the widow's admiration broke out afresh; and when Mrs. Leaver
would not permit Mr. Leaver to keep his hat off, lest the sun should
strike to his head, and give him a brain fever, Mrs. Starling actually
shed tears, and said it reminded her of Adam and Eve.
The loving couple were thus loving all the way to Twickenham, but
when we arrived there (by which time the amateur crew looked very
thirsty and vicious) they were more playful than ever, for Mrs. Leaver
threw stones at Mr. Leaver, and Mr. Leaver ran after Mrs. Leaver on
the grass, in a most innocent and enchanting manner. At dinner, too, Mr.
Leaver WOULD steal Mrs. Leaver's tongue, and Mrs. Leaver WOULD
retaliate upon Mr. Leaver's fowl; and when Mrs. Leaver was going to
take some lobster salad, Mr. Leaver wouldn't let her have any, saying