Side Show Studies | Page 3

tusks to his teeth, and with an iron collar around his neck and a log
chain around his waist he was as good an imitation as was ever faked.
We put him in a big cage which we had used the week before for a
mangy old lion; one of the five hundred or so 'Wallace the Untamables'
which were touring the country, and Merritt taught him to howl like a
steam calliope.
"We called him 'Fuzzy Wuzzy, the Terrible Man-Eating Cannibal,'
which was a waste of words, but Merritt had language to burn. He had
got hold of a phony five hundred dollar bill, and when he was giving
his spiel about how Fuzzy Wuzzy was captured upon a desert island,
where he was found chewing a human leg, and how he couldn't eat

anything but raw meat, and was always trying to get at his keeper for
dessert, he would wave his phony five hundred spot over his head and
give it to 'em good.
"'Five hundred dollars, ladies and gents, I will give to any man who
will remain for the short space of two minutes in the cage with Fuzzy
Wuzzy! Five hundred dollars to any man who is brave enough to run
the risk of letting this terrible man-eating cannibal get his hinder limbs
about him, for then all would be lost and Fuzzy Wuzzy would fasten
his terrible fangs in his victim's throat and suck his ber-lud.'
"Well, it was a good spiel, all right, all right, and when Merritt struck
that part one of the supers would prod up old Fuzzy, who would rattle
his chains and howl for fair, and the audience would get cold chills
down their backs. We were playing to the S. R. O., and giving so many
shows a day that Merritt pretty nearly lost his voice, and Fuzzy had
been prodded so much that he had to take his meals standing up. We
ran 'em through pretty fast, and one afternoon Merritt was just going to
give the 'All out' signal, which cleared the exhibition hall for the next
performance, when up steps a big husky black roustabout from the
levee and commences to strip off his coat.
"'Jes' a minit, boss,' says he. 'Ah reckon ah needs dat five hundred in
mah bizness,' and Merritt looks at him in astonishment.
"'My deluded colored brother,' says he, 'Do you appreciate the fact that
you are going to a certain and horrible death? If this terrible Fuzzy
Wuzzy gets his hinder limbs about you he will suck your ber-lud.'
"'Ah doan reckon he'll git me, an' ah suttenly needs de money,' answers
the coon, and continues to strip, and Merritt sizes him up and sees the
finish of Fuzzy Wuzzy, who was shaking the bars and trying to get
away from the super who was prodding him; but everybody thought he
was trying to get at the coon to make a meal of him, and some of the
women folks were getting hysterics. One of the boys had put me wise,
and I broke through the crowd and called a halt in the proceedings.
"'Ladies and gentlemen,' says I, 'I didn't believe that a man existed who

was foolhardy enough to be tempted to certain death by the lure of a
paltry five hundred dollars. But although this man is so reckless of his
own life, I must insist that he get a permit from the mayor, relieving us
from all responsibility, before we allow him to be torn limb from limb.
Return to-morrow at two o'clock, and if this man's courage still keeps
up, you will see before your shuddering eyes an encounter which will
make the historical gladiatorial combats of ancient Rome pale into
insignificance.' I could sling a few language myself, those days, and the
mayor was a friend of mine--or I thought he was--so I figured we could
catch the suckers for an admission and then call it off, because he
would refuse a permit.
[Illustration: "Blank cartridges fired in his face."]
"But he was onto the game and he was one of those blame fools who
thought he had a sense of humor, so he gives him a document with a
big red seal on it which looks like a doctor's diploma, which says that
Thomas Jefferson is allowed to go in and win our five hundred, and the
next day the coon shows up smiling and ready, and I knew we had to
make good somehow. I passed the word to Merritt to delay the game
and make a last grand effort to throw a scare into the coon, and he put
up a spiel to beat the band.
"'This terrible Fuzzy Wuzzy has none of the attributes of a human
being,' says he.