Shorty McCabe on the Job | Page 5

he would not. He was thoroughly opposed to what he
termed post-mortem philanthropy of the general kind. To quote his own
words, 'I am not enough of a hypocrite to believe that a society based
on organized selfishness can right its many wrongs by spasmodic gifts
to organized charity.'"
J. Bayard shifts uneasy on his feet and smothers a yawn. "All very
interesting, I'm sure," says he; "but really, you know, Pyramid Gordon's
theories on such matters do not----"
"I am merely suggesting," breaks in the lawyer, "that you may care to
glance over another list of twenty names. These are the persons among
whom Mr. Gordon's estate will be divided if the first plan cannot be
carried out."
Mr. Steele hesitates; but he fin'lly fishes out a pair of swell nose
pinchers that he wears hung from a wide ribbon, and assumes a bored
expression. He don't hold that pose long. He couldn't have read more'n
a third of the names before he shows signs of bein' mighty int'rested.

"Why, see here!" says he. "I'd like to know, Sir, where in thunder you
got this list!"
"Yes, I thought you would," says Judson. "It was quite simple. Perhaps
you remember, a few days ago, meeting a friendly, engaging young
man in the café of your hotel? Asked you to join him at luncheon, I
believe, and talked vaguely about making investments?"
"Young Churchill?" says J. Bayard.
"Correct," says the lawyer. "One of our brightest young men.
Entertaining talker too. And if I'm not mistaken, it was he who opened
a good-natured discussion as to the limit of actual personal
acquaintance which the average man has, ending by his betting fifty
dollars--rather foolishly, I admit--that you could not remember the
names and addresses of twenty persons whom you actually disliked.
Well, you won. Here is the list you made out."
And the stunned way J. Bayard gawps at the piece of paper brings out a
snicker from me. He flushes up at that and glares down at Judson.
"Tactics worthy of a Tombs lawyer!" says he. "I congratulate you on
your high-class legal methods!"
"Oh, not at all," says Judson. "A suggestion of Mr. Gordon's. Another
evidence of his insight into character, as well as his foresight into
events. So, you see, Mr. Steele, if you decline to become the benefactor
of Mr. Gordon's enemies, his money goes to yours!"
"The old fox!" snarls J. Bayard. "Why--I--let me see that list again."
It's no more'n gripped in his fingers than he steps back quick and begins
tearin' it to bits. I'd jumped for him and had his wrists clinched when
Judson waves me off.
"Only a copy," says he smilin'. "I have several more. Sit down, Mr.
Steele, and let me give you another."

Kind of dazed and subdued, J. Bayard submits to bein' pushed into a
chair. After a minute or so he fixes his glasses again, and begins starin'
at the fresh list, mumblin' over some of the names to himself.
"To them! Three millions!" says he gaspy.
"Roughly estimated," says Judson, "that would be about one hundred
and fifty thousand dollars apiece which you would, in effect, hand
over."
"And the only way to keep them from getting it," goes on Steele, "is for
me to spend my time hunting up Pyramid Gordon's lot?"
"Not entirely without recompense," adds the lawyer. "As an
inducement for doing the work thoroughly, I am authorized to give you
a commission on all you spend in that way."
"How much?" demands the other.
"Twenty per cent.," says Judson. "For instance, if in doing some kind
and generous deed for a person on Mr. Gordon's list, you spend, say,
five thousand, you get a thousand for yourself."
"Ah!" says Steele, perkin' up consider'ble.
"The only condition being," goes on the lawyer, "that in each case your
kind and generous proposals must have the indorsement and approval
of Professor McCabe, who is asked to give his advice in these matters
on a five per cent. basis. I may add that a like amount comes to me in
place of any other fee. So you see this is to be a joint enterprise. Is that
satisfactory to you, Mr. McCabe?"
"It's more'n I usually get for my advice," says I, "and I guess Pyramid
Gordon knew well enough he didn't have to pay for anything like that
from me. But if that's the way he planned it out, it goes."
"And you, Mr. Steele?" says Judson.
"One dollar for every five that I can spend of Pyramid Gordon's

money?" says he, wrinklin' his eye corners. "With pleasure! When may
I begin?"
"Now," says Judson, reachin' prompt into a pigeonhole and producin' a
sealed envelope. "Here is the first name on the list. When you bring me
Professor