Scarborough and the Critic | Page 6

prospect will be my chiefest

entertainment, whilst, much against my will, I engage in those empty
pleasures which 'tis so much the fashion to be fond of. Love. I own
most of them are, indeed, but empty; yet there are delights of which a
private life is destitute, which may divert an honest man, and be a

harmless entertainment to a
virtuous woman: good music is one; and
truly (with some small allowance) the plays, I think, may be esteemed
another.
Aman. Plays, I must confess, have some small charms. What
do you think of that you saw last night?
Love. To say truth, I did not
mind it much--my attention
was for some time taken off to admire the
workmanship of Nature in the face of a young lady who sat at some
distance from me, she was so exquisitely handsome.
Aman. So
exquisitely handsome!
Love. Why do you repeat my words, my dear?

Aman. Because you seemed to speak them with such pleasure, I
thought I might oblige you with their echo.
Love. Then you are
alarmed, Amanda?
Aman. It is my duty to be so when you are in
danger.
Love. You are too quick in apprehending for me. I viewed

her with a world of admiration, but not one glance of love. Aman. Take
heed of trusting to such nice distinctions. But were your eyes the only
things that were inquisitive? Had I been in your place, my tongue, I
fancy, had been curious too. I should have asked her where she
lived--yet still without design--who was she, pray?
Love. Indeed I
cannot tell.
Aman. You will not tell.
Love. Upon my honour, then, I
did not ask.
Aman. Nor do you know what company was with her?

Love. I do not. But why are you so earnest?
Aman. I thought I had
cause.
Love. But you thought wrong, Amanda; for turn the case,

and let it be your story: should you come home and tell me you had
seen a handsome man, should I grow jealous because you had eyes?

Aman. But should I tell you he was exquisitely so, and
that I had
gazed on him with admiration, should you not think 'twere possible I
might go one step further, and inquire his name?
Love. [Aside.] She
has reason on her side; I have
talked too much; but I must turn off
another way.--
[Aloud.] Will you then make no difference, Amanda,
between the language of our sex and yours? There is a modesty
restrains your tongues, which makes you speak by halves when you
commend; but roving flattery gives a loose to ours, which makes us
still speak double what we think.
Enter SERVANT.

Ser. Madam,
there is a lady at the door in a chair desires to know whether your
ladyship sees company; her name is
Berinthia.
Aman. Oh dear! 'tis a

relation I have not seen these five years; pray her to walk in.--[Exit
SERVANT.] Here's
another beauty for you; she was, when I saw her
last, reckoned extremely handsome.
Love. Don't be jealous now; for I
shall gaze upon her too. Enter BERINTHIA.
Ha! by heavens, the
very woman! [Aside.]
Ber. [Salutes AMANDA.] Dear Amanda, I did
not
expect to meet you in Scarborough.
Aman. Sweet cousin, I'm
overjoyed to see you.--Mr.
Loveless, here's a relation and a friend of
mine, I desire you'll be better acquainted with.
Love. [Salutes
BERINTHIA.] If my wife never desires
a harder thing, madam, her
request will be easily granted.
Re-enter SERVANT.
Ser. Sir, my
Lord Foppington presents his humble service
to you, and desires to
know how you do. He's at the next door; and, if it be not inconvenient
to you, he'll come and wait upon you.
Love. Give my compliments to
his lordship, and I shall be glad to see him.--[Exit SERVANT.] If you
are not
acquainted with his lordship, madam, you will be entertained
with his character.
Aman. Now it moves my pity more than my mirth
to see a man whom nature has made no fool be so very industrious to
pass for an ass.
Love. No, there you are wrong, Amanda; you should
never
bestow your pity upon those who take pains for your contempt:
pity those whom nature abuses, never those who abuse nature. Enter
LORD FOPPINGTON.
Lord Fop. Dear Loveless, I am your most
humble servant.
Love. My lord, I'm yours.
Lord Fop. Madam, your
ladyship's very obedient slave.
Love. My lord, this lady is a relation
of my wife's.
Lord Fop. [Salutes BERINTHIA.] The beautifullest

race of people upon earth, rat me! Dear Loveless, I am overjoyed that
you think of continuing here: I am, stap my vitals!--
[To AMANDA.]
For Gad's sake, madam, how has your ladyship been able to subsist
thus long, under the fatigue of a country life?
Aman. My life has been
very far from that, my lord; it has been a very quiet one.
Lord Fop.
Why, that's the fatigue I speak of, madam; for
'tis impossible to be
quiet without thinking: now thinking is to me the greatest fatigue in the
world.
Aman. Does not your lordship love