Samantha Among the Brethren | Page 4

did Sister
Henzy.
Sister Sypher is so wrapped up in Deacon Sypher that she would
embrace a buzz saw mill or any other enterprise he could bring to bear
onto her.
"She would be perfectly willin' to be trompled on," so she often sez, "if
Deacon Sypher wuz to do the tromplin'."

Some sez he duz.
Wall, in spite of all my efforts, and in spite of all Sister Henzy's efforts,
our deacons seemed to jest flourish on this skeme of theirn. And when
we see it wuz goin' to be a sure thing, even Sister Sypher begin to feel
bad.
She told Albina Widrig, and Albina told Miss Henn, and Miss Henn
told me, that "what to do she didn't know, it would deprive her of so
much of the deacon's society." It wuz goin' to devour so much of his
time that she wuz afraid she couldn't stand it. She told Albina in
confidence (and Albina wouldn't want it told of, nor Miss Henn, nor I
wouldn't) that she had often been obleeged to go out into the lot
between breakfast and dinner to see the deacon, not bein' able to stand
it without lookin' on his face till dinner time.
And when she was laid up with a lame foot it wuz known that the
deacon left his plowin' and went up to the house, or as fur as the door
step, four or five times in the course of a mornin's work, it wuz spozed
because she wuz fearful of forgettin' how he looked before noon.
She is a dretful admirin' woman.
She acts dretful reverential and admirin' towards men--always calls her
husband "the Deacon," as if he was the one lonely deacon who was
perambulatin' the globe at this present time. And it is spozed that when
she dreams about him she dreams of him as "the Deacon," and not as
Samuel (his given name is Samuel).
[Illustration: "THE INITIALS STOOD FOR 'MISS DEACON
SYPHER.'"]
But we don't know that for certain. We only spoze it. For the land of
dreams is a place where you can't slip on your sun-bonnet and foller
neighbor wimmen to see what they are a-doin' or what they are a-sayin'
from hour to hour.
No, the best calculator on gettin' neighborhood news can't even look

into that land, much less foller a neighborin' female into it.
No, their barks have got to be moored outside of them mysterious
shores.
But, as I said, this had been spozen.
But it is known from actual eyesight that she marks all her sheets, and
napkins, and piller-cases, and such, "M. D. S." And I asked her one day
what the M. stood for, for I 'spozed, of course, the D. S. stood for
Drusillia Sypher.
And she told me with a real lot of dignity that the initials stood for
"Miss Deacon Sypher."
Wall, the Jonesville men have been in the habit of holdin' her up as a
pattern to their wives for some time, and the Jonesville wimmen hain't
hated her so bad as you would spoze they all would under the
circumstances, on account, we all think, of her bein' such a
good-hearted little creeter. We all like Drusilly and can't help it.
Wall, even she felt bad and deprested on account of her Deacon's goin'
into the buzz saw-mill business.
But she didn't say nothin', only wept out at one side, and wiped up
every time he came in sight.
They say that she hain't never failed once of a-smilin' on the Deacon
every time he came home. And once or twice he has got as mad as a
hen at her for smilin'. Once, when he came home with a sore thumb--he
had jest smashed it in the barn door--and she stood a-smilin' at him on
the door step, there are them that say the Deacon called her a "infernal
fool."
But I never have believed it. I don't believe he would demean himself
so low.
But he yelled out awful at her, I do 'spoze, for his pain wuz intense, and

she stood stun still, a-smilin' at him, jest accordin' to the story books.
And he sez:
"Stand there like a----fool, will you! Get me a _rag!_"
I guess he did say as much as that.
But they say she kept on a-smilin' for some time--couldn't seem to stop,
she had got so hardened into that way.
[Illustration: "ONCE, WHEN HER FACE WUZ ALL SWELLED UP,
SHE SMILED AT HIM."]
And once, when her face wuz all swelled up with the toothache, she
smiled at him accordin' to rule when he got home, and they say the
effect wuz fearful, both on her looks and the Deacon's acts. They say he
was mad again, and called her some names. But