Samantha Among the Brethren | Page 3

and wuz very glad to have these deacons lay holt of 'em.
[Illustration: TALKING OVER THE BUZZ-SAW.]
But I threw out this question at 'em, and stood by it--"If bein' set apart
as a deacon didn't mean anything? If there wuzn't any deacon-work that
they ought to be expected to do--and if it wuz right for 'em to go into
any world's work so wild and hazardous and engrossin', as this
enterprise?"
And again they sez to me in stern, decided axents, "The better the man,
the better the deed. We need buzz saws."
And then they would turn their backs to me and stalk away very
high-headed.
And I felt that I wuz a gettin' fearfully onpopular all through Jonesville,
by my questions. I see that the hull community wuz so sot on havin'
them five deacons embark onto these buzz saws that they would not
brook any interference, least of all from a female woman.
But I had a feelin' that Josiah Allen wuz, as you may say, my lawful
prey. I felt that I had a right to question my own pardner for the good of
his own soul, and my piece of mind.
And I sez to him in solemn axents:
"Josiah Allen, what time will you get when you are fairly started on
your buzz saw, for domestic life, or social, or for religious duties?"
And Josiah sez, "Dumb 'em! I guess a man is a goin' to make money

when he has got a chance." And I asked him plain if he had got so low,
and if I had lived with him twenty years for this, to hear him in the end
dumb religious duties.
And Josiah acted skairt and conscience smut for most half a minute,
and said, "he didn't dumb 'em."
"What wuz you dumbin'?" sez I, coldly.
"I wuz dumbin' the idee," sez he, "that a man can't make money when
he has a chance to."
But I sez, a haulin' up this strong argument agin--
"Every one of you men, who are a layin' holt of this enterprise and
a-embarkin' onto this buzz saw are married men, and are deacons in a
meetin' house. Now this work you are a-talkin' of takin' up will devour
all of your time, every minute of it, that you can spare from your farms.
"And to say nothin' of your wives and children not havin' any chance of
havin' any comfort out of your society. What will become of the
interests of Zion at home and abroad, of foreign and domestic missions,
prayer meetin's, missionary societies, temperance meetin's and good
works generally?"
And then again I thought, and it don't seem as if I can be mistaken, I
most know that I heerd Josiah Allen mutter in a low voice,
"Dumb good works!"
[Illustration: "I HEERD JOSIAH MUTTER, 'DUMB GOOD
WORKS!'"]
But I wouldn't want this told of, for I may be mistook. I didn't fairly
ketch the words, and I spoke out agin, in dretful meanin' and harrowin'
axents, and sez, "What will become of all this gospel work?"
And Josiah had by this time got over his skare and conscience smite
(men can't keep smut for more'n several minutes anyway, their

consciences are so elastic; good land! rubber cord can't compare with
'em), and he had collected his mind all together, and he spoke out low
and clear, and in a tone as if he wuz fairly surprised I should make the
remark:
"Why, the gospel work will get along jest as it always has, the wimmen
will 'tend to it."
And I own I was kinder lost and by the side of myself when I asked the
question--and very anxious to break up the enterprise or I shouldn't
have put the question to him.
For I well knew jest as he did that wimmen wuz most always the ones
to go ahead in church and charitable enterprises. And especially now,
for there wuz a hardness arozen amongst the male men of the meetin'
house, and they wouldn't do a thing they could help (but of this more
anon and bimeby).
There wuz two or three old males in the meetin' house, too old to get
mad and excited easy, that held firm, and two very pious old male
brothers, but poor, very poor, had to be supported by the meetin' house,
and lame. They stood firm, or as firm as they could on such legs as
theirs wuz, inflammatory rheumatiz and white swellin's and such.
But all the rest had got their feelin's hurt, and got mad, etc., and
wouldn't do a thing to help the meetin' house along.
Well, I tried every lawful, and mebby a little on-lawful way to break
this enterprise of theirs up--and, as I heern afterwards, so