Rogers-isms | Page 4

Will Rogers
by this time Congress was getting pretty rough so Pres W grabbed
his boat and commuted back home,
Said I think I will land in BOSTON the old Pilgrim Fathers had pretty
fair luck, and nobody has ever landed there since,
Germany couldent figure out how America could get troops over there
and get them trained so quick they dident know that in our manual
there is nothing about RETREATING and when you only got to teach
an Army to go one way you can do it in half the time,
I feel pretty proud over that last little gag, As I used it before Pres
Wilson in Washington and he repeated it in his Boston speech, Saying
"as one of our AMERICAN HUMORISTS says," Up to then I had only
been an ordinary Rope thrower,
Pretty tough when the Pres cops your act,

Pres had pretty good luck on that 1st trip they saw his 14 points and
raised him -------- ---- more
Says in there, "There is to be no more wars" and then there was a
Paragraph a little further down told you where to get your
AMMUNITION in case there was one,
Now he come's back to Washington to explain the LEAGUE OF
NATIONS to Congress You know those guys cant read anything and
understand it,
But after eating out of 15 million dollar Gold Plates and hobnobbing
with Kings and Dukes can you imagine how Congress looked to him
when he come back,
Had All the Senators up to dinner at White House Took Ham Lewis
three days to dress for it,
Not much news from the Dinner Burleson copped the Phones,
On last day went up to Capitol to sign all the bills Congress had passed
Well after he had signed the bill,
Then he went before Congress and balled out the WILFUL 37, he was
busier than Mcadoo with a new train,
HE and Taft both spoke on same stage first time Pres and x-pres ever
agreed,
I still wanted to go along but he said: "wait Will till some other trip and
I will take you,"
You know 13 is his lucky number if they dont sign this up on this trip
he knows they will on his 13th trip,
You see Congress got sore cause he did not call them in extra session,
You know the next Con, is Republican, Be a good joke on them if he
dident call them at all wouldent it,

Back to Paris to meet Col House the only man the Pres ever listened
too,
MR DANIELS went over. First time they have ever taken Josephus
anywhere, He will be allright in a crowd,
Made Mr Hoover food DICTATOR for all the Allies That means that
BELG FRANCE and ENG, are not going to get any more to eat than we
do,
Conference at 1st gave America Japan Italy France 5 deligates each and
England including her Colonies fourteen, Thats all right to allow
England for each one of her Foreign Relations, But they did not allow
us a single one for Wisconsin,
How would you like to have been on a committee of Englishman to
inform Ireland they dident get any Deligates, OH BOY,
Finally got it down to the big TEN now theres only FOUR, speaking to
each other,
America dident know till they got over there that those European
Nations have had a disease for years called the Gimmes.
England and Japan had a secret Treaty where England was to get
everything south of the equator and Japan everything North, Guess they
were going to leave the equator for Ireland,
Japan wanted it put in the contract that she was as good as anybody else
If she admitted it why put it in, If a man is a Gentleman he don't have a
sign on him telling it,
Tell Japan we will recognize them as soon as they recognize China,
=Peace Table is turning out like all Banquets the speeches are too
long,=
Everybody at the Table wants a second helping, And Germany the cook
hasent got enough to go around,

They agreed on one of the 14 points that was that America went in for
nothing and expects nothing they are all UNANIMOUS WE GET IT,
Wanted to put the LEAGUE of nations in with Peace Treaty, thats like
a fellow going into a store and the Merchant wont sell him a Suit unless
he uses a Gillette Razor,
Its been a great thing for these Senators if it had not been for this to
knock they would not have gotten all these Lecture Dates,
The way a lot Of Senators talk you would think Pres W was going to
trade America off for a couple of Golf Clubs,
They seem to think the Pres
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