Remarks | Page 9

to cut up through. That is no doubt the reason why the
medical student proceeds to cut up through the entire course.
[Illustration: STUDYING ANATOMY.]
Anatomy is so called because its best results are obtained from the
cutting or dissecting of organism. For that reason there is a growing
demand in the neighborhood of the medical college for good
second-hand organisms. Parties having well preserved organisms that
they are not actually using, will do well to call at the side door of the
medical college after 10 P.M.
The branch of the comparative anatomy which seeks to trace the unities
of plan which are exhibited in diverse organisms, and which discovers,
as far as may be, the principles which govern the growth and
development of organized bodies, and which finds functional analogies
and structural homologies, is denominated philosophical or

transcendental anatomy. (This statement, though strictly true, is not
original with me.)
Careful study of the human organism after death, shows traces of
functional analogies and structural homologies in people who were
supposed to have been in perfect health all their lives Probably many of
those we meet in the daily walks of life, many, too, who wear a smile
and outwardly seem happy, have either one or both of these things. A
man may live a false life and deceive his most intimate friends in the
matter of anatomical analogies or homologies, but he cannot conceal it
from the eagle eye of the medical student. The ambitious medical
student makes a specialty of true inwardness.
The study of the structure of animals is called zootomy. The attempt to
study the anatomical structure of the grizzly bear from the inside has
not been crowned with success. When the anatomizer and the bear have
been thrown together casually, it has generally been a struggle between
the two organisms to see which would make a study of the structure of
the other. Zootomy and moral suasion are not homogeneous, analogous,
nor indigenous.
Vegetable anatomy is called phytonomy, sometimes. But it would not
be safe to address a vigorous man by that epithet. We may call a
vegetable that, however, and be safe.
Human anatomy is that branch of anatomy which enters into the
description of the structure and geographical distribution of the
elements of a human being. It also applies to the structure of the
microbe that crawls out of jail every four years just long enough to
whip his wife, vote and go back again.
Human anatomy is either general, specific, topographical or surgical.
Those terms do not imply the dissection and anatomy of generals,
specialists, topographers and surgeons, as they might seem to imply,
but really mean something else. I would explain here what they actually
do mean if I had more room and knew enough to do it.
Anatomists divide their science, as well as their subjects, into

fragments. Osteology treats of the skeleton, myology of the muscles,
angiology of the blood vessels, splanchology the digestive organs or
department of the interior, and so on.
People tell pretty tough stories of the young carvists who study
anatomy on subjects taken from life. I would repeat a few of them here,
but they are productive of insomnia, so I will not give them.
I visited a matinee of this kind once for a short time, but I have not
been there since. When I have a holiday now, the idea of spending it in
the dissecting-room of a large and flourishing medical college does not
occur to me.
I never could be a successful surgeon, I fear. While I have no hesitation
about mutilating the English, I have scruples about cutting up other
nationalities. I should always fear, while pursuing my studies, that I
might be called upon to dissect a friend, and I could not do that. I
should like to do anything that would advance the cause of science, but
I should not want to form the habit of dissecting people, lest some day I
might be called upon to dissect a friend for whom I had a great
attachment, or some creditor who had an attachment for me.
[Illustration]

Mr. Sweeney's Cat.
Robert Ormsby Sweeney is a druggist of St. Paul, and though a recent
chronological record reveals the fact that he is a direct descendant of a
sure-enough king, and though there is mighty good purple, royal blood
in his veins that dates back where kings used to have something to do
to earn their salary, he goes right on with his regular business, selling
drugs at the great sacrifice which druggists will make sometimes in
order to place their goods within the reach of all.
As soon as I learned that Mr. Sweeney had barely escaped being a
crowned head, I got acquainted with him and tried