Remarks | Page 5

will readily see that this will afford you an opportunity to appear
before some of the best people of New York, and at the same time you
will aid in a deserving enterprise.
It will also promote the sale of your book.
Perhaps you have all the royalty you want aside from what you may
receive from the sale of your works, but every author feels a pardonable
pride in getting his books into every household.
I would assure your most gracious majesty that your reception here as
an authoress will in no way suffer because you are an unnaturalized
foreigner. Any alien who feels a fraternal interest in the international
advancement of thought and the universal encouragement of the good,
the true and the beautiful in literature, will be welcome on these shores.
This is a broad land, and we aim to be a broad and cosmopolitan people.
Literature and free, willing genius are not hemmed in by State or
national linos. They sprout up and blossom under tropical skies no less
than beneath the frigid aurora borealis of the frozen North. We hail true
merit just as heartily and uproariously on a throne as we would
anywhere else. In fact, it is more deserving, if possible, for one who has
never tried it little knows how difficult it is to sit on a hard throne all
day and write well. We are to recognize struggling genius wherever it
may crop out. It is no small matter for an almost unknown monarch to
reign all day and then write an article for the press or a chapter for a
serial story, only, perhaps, to have it returned by the publishers. All
these things are drawbacks to a literary life, that we here in America

know little of.
I hope your most gracious majesty will decide to come, and that you
will pardon this long letter. It will do you good to get out this way for a
few weeks, and I earnestly hope that you will decide to lock up the
house and come prepared to make quite a visit. We have some real
good authors here now in America, and we are not ashamed to show
them to any one. They are not only smart, but they are well behaved
and know how to appear in company. We generally read selections
from our own works, and can have a brass band to play between the
selections, if thought best. For myself, I prefer to have a full brass band
accompany me while I read. The audience also approves of this plan.
[Illustration: THE ACCOMPANIMENT.]
We have been having some very hot weather here for the past week,
but it is now cooler. Farmers are getting in their crops in good shape,
but wheat is still low in price, and cranberries are souring on the vines.
All of our canned red raspberries worked last week, and we had to can
them over again. Mr. Riel, who went into the rebellion business in
Canada last winter, will be hanged in September if it don't rain. It will
be his first appearance on the gallows, and quite a number of our
leading American criminals are going over to see his debut.
Hoping to hear from you by return mail or prepaid cablegram, I beg
leave to remain your most gracious and indulgent majesty's humble and
obedient servant.
Bill Nye.

Habits of a Literary Man.
The editor of an Eastern health magazine, having asked for information
relative to the habits, hours of work, and style and frequency of feed
adopted by literary men, and several parties having responded who
were no more essentially saturated with literature than I am, I now take
my pen in hand to reveal the true inwardness of my literary life, so that

boys, who may yearn to follow in my footsteps and wear a laurel
wreath the year round in place of a hat, may know what the personal
habits of a literary party are.
I rise from bed the first thing in the morning, leaving my couch not
because I am dissatisfied with it, but because I cannot carry it with me
during the day.
I then seat myself on the edge of the bed and devote a few moments to
thought. Literary men who have never set aside a few moments on
rising for thought will do well to try it.
I then insert myself into a pair of middle-aged pantaloons. It is needless
to say that girls who may have a literary tendency will find little to
interest them here.
Other clothing is added to the above from time to time. I then bathe
myself. Still this is not absolutely essential to a literary life. Others who
do not do so have been equally successful.