Prairie Flowers | Page 7

offset to which the present specimen, here, has got a just an' valid
claim fer two rounds of drinks to the total value of two dollars an' four
bits, leavin' a dollar an' four bits still owin' to me. The case is now
closed, owin' to any testimony the defendant, here, might introduce,
would be mere hearsay an' therefore irrelevant an' immaterial, he havin'
admitted he wasn't here at the time. Now, gentlemen of the jury, what's
your verdict?"
Thus appealed to the four gathered at the end of the bar and held
whispered conversation, Shorty glancing furtively the while at the gun
in the Texan's hand.
Presently, mouthing a corner of his moustache, Ike Stork spoke: "It's
the ondivided opinion of the jury, except Shorty disagreein' fer fear
he'll git shot, that this here party behind the bar's name ain't John Doe,
which it's Pete Barras same as before, an' likewise he's got two dollars
an' four bits comin' from you fer the drinks. Them four dollars of yourn
is comin' from Sam Barras, which he's runnin' a saloon over to
Zortman."
The Texan produced another match and laid it beside the others upon

the bar: "You're fined a round of drinks for misnomer of the
defendant," he announced, gravely. "An' seein' the jury is hung--why it
ain't be'n hung long ago is surprisin' to me--you're
discharged--bob-tailed discharge, as they'd say in the army which
carries with it a recommendation that you're a bunch of inebriated
idiots that's permitted to stand on your hind legs an walk upright so's to
make more room for regular folks to move around in. The case is taken
out of your hands an' adjoodicated upon its merits which accordin' to
the statutes in such cases made an' provided, judgment is rendered for
the plaintiff, on account of the above transaction bein' with the saloon,
as such, an' not a personal matter with the bartender. Plaintiff is also
ordered to take over an' run said saloon to the best of his ability until
such time as the said dollar an' four bits is paid."
"Look a-here, pardner," began the bartender, edging along opposite the
Texan, "fun's fun, an' kangaroo courts is all right as fer as they go an' as
long as they don't mix up no regular money in their carryin's on. Me an'
my brother Sam ain't on what you might say, fambly terms, which he'd
of skun me to a frazzle on this here deal if the claim I traded him fer the
saloon had of be'n worth a damn. But in spite of me an' Sam bein' what
you might say, onfriendly relations, I've got to say fer him that he never
pays a debt, an' if you've got four dollars comin' from him you might as
well set around like a buzzard till he dies, which he's that ornery it
prob'ly won't be long, an' then file yer claim ag'in his executioner."
The Texan grinned: "I hope fer your sake that advice is sound, for I'm
handin' it back in the original package----"
"You mean you ain't a-goin to pay fer them drinks?" The bartender's
voice held a truculent note, and his eyes narrowed. "'Cause, believe me,
stranger, if you think you ain't, you're plumb misguided. Things has
be'n quiet an' peaceable around here fer quite a spell, but you'll pay fer
two rounds of drinks or Timber City's a-goin' to see some excitement."
The Texan noted that the man's hand was reaching along the under side
of the bar, and his own dropped unobserved to the butt of the six-gun
that he had returned to its holster. "Speakin' of excitement you're sure
some prophet," he observed, drily, "an' therefore, prob'ly without

honour. But as far as I'm concerned, your brother Sam's nothin' but a
pleasant memory while as we say in the law, this saloon here is a
corporeal hereditament----"
"You're a damn liar!" flared the aproned one, indignantly: "They ain't
no wimin' allowed in here--" With the words the man's hand leaped
from behind the bar, there was a crashing report, a heavy six-shooter
thudded upon the wooden floor, and with a cry of pain the bartender
spun half around clutching at his right arm.
"Backin' up hard words with gun play is dangerous business onless
you're a top hand at it," observed the Texan, drily, as he stepped around
to the man's side. A movement in front of the bar caused the six-gun
once more to leap from its holster and at the action four pairs of hands
flew ceilingward. "Just you hombres belly right close up to the rail an'
all yer hands open an' above board on top of the bar, an' you, Stork, you
come on around here an' tie up this arm or there'll