Phantasmagoria and Other Poems

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Phantasmagoria and Other Poems, by
Lewis Carroll (#5 in our series by Lewis Carroll)
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Title: Phantasmagoria and Other Poems
Author: Lewis Carroll
Release Date: September, 1996 [EBook #651]
[This file was first
posted on September 17, 1996]
[Most recently updated: September 2,
2002]
Edition: 10
Language: English
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0. START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK,
PHANTASMAGORIA AND OTHER POEMS ***
Transcribed from the 1911 Macmillan and Co. edition by David Price,
email [email protected]

PHANTASMAGORIA AND OTHER POEMS
PHANTASMAGORIA
CANTO I--The Trystyng
One winter night, at half-past nine,
Cold, tired, and cross, and muddy,

I had come home, too late to dine,
And supper, with cigars and
wine,
Was waiting in the study.
There was a strangeness in the room,
And Something white and wavy

Was standing near me in the gloom -
_I_ took it for the
carpet-broom
Left by that careless slavey.
But presently the Thing began
To shiver and to sneeze:
On which I
said "Come, come, my man!
That's a most inconsiderate plan.
Less
noise there, if you please!"
"I've caught a cold," the Thing replies,
"Out there upon the landing."

I turned to look in some surprise,
And there, before my very eyes,

A little Ghost was standing!
He trembled when he caught my eye,
And got behind a chair.
"How
came you here," I said, "and why?
I never saw a thing so shy.
Come
out! Don't shiver there!"
He said "I'd gladly tell you how,
And also tell you why;
But" (here
he gave a little bow)
"You're in so bad a temper now,
You'd think it
all a lie.
"And as to being in a fright,
Allow me to remark
That Ghosts have

just as good a right
In every way, to fear the light,
As Men to fear
the dark."
"No plea," said I, "can well excuse
Such cowardice in you:
For
Ghosts can visit when they choose,
Whereas we Humans ca'n't refuse

To grant the interview."
He said "A flutter of alarm
Is not unnatural, is it?
I really feared you
meant some harm:
But, now I see that you are calm,
Let me explain
my visit.
"Houses are classed, I beg to state,
According to the number
Of
Ghosts that they accommodate:
(The Tenant merely counts as
WEIGHT,
With Coals and other lumber).
"This is a 'one-ghost' house, and you
When you arrived last summer,

May have remarked a Spectre who
Was doing all that Ghosts can
do
To welcome the new-comer.
"In Villas this is always done -
However cheaply rented:
For,
though of course there's less of fun
When there is only room for one,

Ghosts have to be contented.
"That Spectre left you on the Third -
Since then you've not been
haunted:
For, as he never sent us word,
'Twas quite by accident we
heard
That any one was wanted.
"A Spectre has first choice, by right,
In filling up a vacancy;
Then
Phantom, Goblin, Elf, and Sprite -
If all these fail them, they invite

The nicest Ghoul that they can see.
"The Spectres said the place was low,
And that you kept bad wine:

So, as a Phantom had to go,
And I was first, of course, you know,
I
couldn't well decline."

"No doubt," said I, "they settled who
Was fittest to be sent
Yet still
to choose a brat like you,
To haunt a man of forty-two,
Was no
great compliment!"
"I'm not so young, Sir," he replied,
"As you might think. The fact is,

In caverns by the water-side,
And other places that I've tried,
I've
had a lot of practice:
"But I have never taken yet
A strict domestic part,
And in my flurry
I forget
The Five Good Rules of Etiquette
We have to know by
heart."
My sympathies were warming fast
Towards the little fellow:
He
was so utterly aghast
At having found a Man at last,
And looked so
scared and yellow.
"At least," I said, "I'm glad to find
A Ghost is not a DUMB thing!

But pray sit down: you'll feel inclined
(If, like myself, you have not
dined)
To take a snack of something:
"Though, certainly, you don't appear
A thing to offer FOOD to!

And then I shall be glad to hear -
If you will say them loud and clear -

The Rules that you allude to."
"Thanks! You shall hear them by and by.
This IS a piece of luck!"

"What