Peter Simple | Page 3

ven the husband's put out, the vife is sure to have her share of it."
"Are you people coming down to dinner?" roared Mr Handycock from below. "Yes, my dear," replied the lady; "I thought that you were washing your hands." We descended into the dining-room, where we found that Mr Handycock had already devoured two of the whitings, leaving only one on the dish for his wife and me. "Vould you like a little bit of viting, my dear?" said the lady to me. "It's not worth halving," observed the gentleman, in a surly tone, taking up the fish with his own knife and fork, and putting it on his plate.
"Well, I'm so glad you like them, my dear," replied the lady meekly; then turning to me, "there's some nice roast weal coming, my dear."
The veal made its appearance, and fortunately for us Mr Handycock could not devour it all. He took the lion's share, nevertheless, cutting off all the brown, and then shoving the dish over to his wife to help herself and me.
After dinner, Mr Handycock went down to the cellar for a bottle of wine. "O deary me!" exclaimed his wife, "he must have lost a mint of money--we had better go upstairs and leave him alone; he'll be better after a bottle of port, perhaps." I was very glad to go away, and being very tired, I went to bed without any tea, for Mrs Handycock dared not venture to make it before her husband came upstairs.
CHAPTER TWO.
FITTING OUT ON THE SHORTEST NOTICE--FORTUNATELY FOR ME THIS DAY MR. HANDYCOCK IS NOT A BEAR, AND I FARE VERY WELL--I SET OFF FOR PORTSMOUTH--BEHIND THE COACH I MEET A MAN BEFORE THE MAST--HE IS DISGUISED WITH LIQUOR, BUT IS NOT THE ONLY DISGUISE I FALL IN WITH IN MY JOURNEY.
The next morning Mr Handycock appeared to be in somewhat better humour. One of the linendrapers who fitted out cadets, etcetera, "on the shortest notice," was sent for, and orders given for my equipment, which Mr Handycock insisted should be ready on the day afterwards, or the articles would be left on his hands; adding, that my place was already taken in the Portsmouth coach.
The man made his promise, took my measure, and departed; and soon afterwards Mr Handycock also quitted the house.
At four o'clock Mr Handycock rapped at the door, and was let in--but not by me. He ascended the stairs with three bounds, and coming into the parlour, cried, "Well, Nancy, my love, how are you?" Then stooping over her, "Give me a kiss, old girl. I'm as hungry as a hunter. Mr Simple, how do you do? I hope you have passed the morning agreeably. I must wash my hands and change my boots, my love; I am not fit to sit down to table with you in this pickle. Well, Polly, how are you?"
"I'm glad you're hungry, my dear, I've such a nice dinner for you," replied the wife, all smiles. "Jemima, be quick, and dish up--Mr Handycock is so hungry."
"Yes, marm," replied the cook; and Mrs Handycock followed her husband into his bedroom on the same floor, to assist him at his toilet.
"By Jove, Nancy, the bulls have been nicely taken in," said Mr Handycock, as we sat down to dinner.
"O I am so glad!" replied his wife, giggling; and so I believe she was, but why I did not understand.
We both had our share to-day, and I never saw a man more polite than Mr Handycock. He joked with his wife, asked me to drink wine with him two or three times, talked about my grandfather; and, in short, we had a very pleasant evening.
The next morning all my clothes came home, but Mr Handycock, who still continued in good humour, said that he would not allow me to travel by night, that I should sleep there and set off the next morning; which I did at six o'clock, and before eight I had arrived at the Elephant and Castle, where we stopped for a quarter of an hour. I observed a crowd assembled at the corner; and asking a gentleman who sat by me in a plaid cloak, whether there was not something very uncommon to attract so many people, he replied, "Not very, for it is only a drunken sailor."
I rose from my seat, which was on the hinder part of the coach, that I might see him, for it was a new sight to me, and excited my curiosity; when, to my astonishment, he staggered from the crowd, and swore that he'd go to Portsmouth. He climbed up by the wheel of the coach and sat down by me. I believe that I stared at him very much, for he said to me, "What are you gaping at, you young