Our Deportment | Page 9

mind
and soul--and therefore in word and act--a gentleman, but a man may
be polite without being a Christian.
[Illustration]
CHAPTER III.
Introductions.
An acquaintanceship or friendship usually begins by means of
introductions, though it is by no means uncommon that when it has
taken place under other circumstances--without introduction--it has
been a great advantage to both parties; nor can it be said that it is
improper to begin an acquaintance in this way. The formal introduction
has been called the highway to the beginning of friendship, and the
"scraped" acquaintance the by-path.
PROMISCUOUS INTRODUCTION.
There is a large class of people who introduce friends and

acquaintances to everybody they meet, whether at home or abroad,
while walking or riding out. Such promiscuous introductions are
neither necessary, desirable, nor at all times agreeable.
AN INTRODUCTION A SOCIAL ENDORSEMENT.
It is to be remembered that an introduction is regarded as a social
endorsement of the person introduced, and that, under certain
circumstances, it would be wrong to introduce to our friends casual
acquaintances, of whom we know nothing, and who may afterwards
prove to be anything but desirable persons to know. Care should be
taken, therefore, in introducing two individuals, that the introduction be
mutually agreeable. Whenever it is practicable, it is best to settle the
point by inquiring beforehand. When this is inexpedient from any cause,
a thorough acquaintance with both parties will warrant the introducer to
judge of the point for him or herself.
UNIVERSAL INTRODUCTIONS.
While the habit of universal introductions is a bad one, there are many
men in cities and villages who are not at all particular whom they
introduce to each other. As a general rule, a man should be as careful
about the character of the person he introduces to his friends, as he is of
him whose notes he would endorse.
THE INTRODUCTION OF A GENTLEMAN TO A LADY.
A gentleman should not be introduced to a lady, unless her permission
has been previously obtained, and no one should ever be introduced
into the house of a friend, except permission is first granted. Such
introductions, however, are frequent, but they are improper, for a
person cannot know that an introduction of this kind will be agreeable.
If a person asks you to introduce him to another, or a gentleman asks to
be introduced to a lady, and you find the introduction would not be
agreeable to the other party, you may decline on the grounds that you
are not sufficiently intimate to take that liberty.
When a gentleman is introduced to a lady, both bow slightly, and the

gentleman opens conversation. It is the place of the one who is
introduced to make the first remark.
INFORMAL INTRODUCTION.
It is not strictly necessary that acquaintanceship should wait a formal
introduction. Persons meeting at the house of a common friend may
consider that fact a sufficient warrant for the preliminaries of
acquaintanceship, if there appears to be a mutual inclination toward
such acquaintanceship. The presence of a person in a friend's house is a
sufficient guaranty for his or her respectability. Gentlemen and ladies
may form acquaintances in traveling, on a steamboat, in a railway car,
or a stage-coach, without the formality of an introduction. Such
acquaintanceship should be conducted with a certain amount of reserve,
and need not be prolonged beyond the time of casual meeting. The
slightest approach to disrespect or familiarity should be checked by
dignified silence. A young lady, however, is not accorded the same
privilege of forming acquaintances as is a married or elderly lady, and
should be careful about doing so.
INTRODUCTIONS AT A BALL.
It is the part of the host and hostess at a ball to introduce their guests,
though guests may, with perfect propriety, introduce each other, or, as
already intimated, may converse with one another without the
ceremony of a formal introduction. A gentleman, before introducing his
friends to ladies, should obtain permission of the latter to do so, unless
he is perfectly sure, from his knowledge of the ladies, that the
introductions will be agreeable. The ladies should always grant such
permission, unless there is a strong reason for refusing. The French,
and to some extent the English, dispense with introductions at a private
ball. The fact that they have been invited to meet each other is regarded
as a guaranty that they are fit to be mutually acquainted, and is a
sufficient warrant for self-introduction. At a public ball partners must
be introduced to each other. Special introducing may be made with
propriety by the master of ceremonies. At public balls it is well for
ladies to dance only, or for the most part, with gentlemen of their own
party, or those with whom they have had a previous acquaintance.

THE MANNER OF INTRODUCTION.
The