Our Deportment | Page 8

pleasing manner finds himself an easy winner
in the race with rival candidates, for every voter with whom he speaks
becomes instantly his friend. Civility is to a man what beauty is to a
woman. It creates an instantaneous impression in his behalf, while
gruffness or coarseness excites as quick a prejudice against him. It is an
ornament, worth more as a means of winning favor than the finest
clothes and jewels ever worn. Lord Chesterfield said the art of pleasing
is, in truth, the art of rising, of distinguishing one's self, of making a
figure and a fortune in the world. Some years ago a drygoods salesman
in a London shop had acquired such a reputation for courtesy and
exhaustless patience, that it was said to be impossible to provoke from
him any expression of irritability, or the smallest symptom of vexation.
A lady of rank learning of his wonderful equanimity, determined to put
it to the test by all the annoyances with which a veteran shop-visitor
knows how to tease a shopman. She failed in her attempt to vex or

irritate him, and thereupon set him up in business. He rose to eminence
in trade, and the main spring of his later, as of his earlier career, was
politeness. Hundreds of men, like this salesman, have owed their start
in life wholly to their pleasing address and manners.
CULTIVATION OF GOOD MANNERS.
The cultivation of pleasing, affable manners should be an important
part of the education of every person of whatever calling or station in
life. Many people think that if they have only the substance, the form is
of little consequence. But manners are a compound of spirit and
form--spirit acted into form. The first law of good manners, which
epitomizes all the rest is, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."
True courtesy is simply the application of this golden rule to all our
social conduct, or, as it has been happily defined, "real kindness, kindly
expressed." It may be met in the hut of the Arab, in the courtyard of the
Turk, in the hovel of the freedman, and the cottage of the Irishman.
Even Christian men sometimes fail in courtesy, deeming it a mark of
weakness, or neglecting it from mere thoughtlessness. Yet when we
find this added to the other virtues of the Christian, it will be noted that
his influence for good upon others has been powerfully increased, for it
was by this that he obtained access to the hearts of others. An old
English writer said reverently of our Saviour: "He was the first true
gentleman that ever lived." The influence of many good men would be
more than doubled if they could manage to be less stiff and more
elastic. Gentleness in society, it has been truly said, "is like the silent
influence of light which gives color to all nature; it is far more
powerful than loudness or force, and far more fruitful. It pushes its way
silently and persistently like the tiniest daffodil in spring, which raises
the clod and thrusts it aside by the simple persistence of growing."
POLITENESS.
Politeness is kindness of manner. This is the outgrowth of kindness of
heart, of nobleness, and of courage. But in some persons we find an
abundance of courage, nobleness and kindness of heart, without
kindness of manner, and we can only think and speak of them as not
only impolite, but even rude and gruff. Such a man was Dr. Johnson,

whose rudeness secured for him the nickname of Ursa Major, and of
whom Goldsmith truthfully remarked, "No man alive has a more tender
heart; he has nothing of the bear about him but his skin." To acquire
that ease and grace of manners which is possessed by and which
distinguishes every well-bred person, one must think of others rather
than of himself, and study to please them even at his own
inconvenience. "Do unto others as you would that others should do
unto you"--the golden rule of life--is also the law of politeness, and
such politeness implies self-sacrifice, many struggles and conflicts. It is
an art and tact, rather than an instinct and inspiration. An eminent
divine has said: "A noble and attractive every-day bearing comes of
goodness, of sincerity, of refinement. And these are bred in years, not
moments. The principle that rules our life is the sure posture-master.
Sir Philip Sidney was the pattern to all England of a perfect gentleman;
but then he was the hero that, on the field of Zutphen, pushed away the
cup of cold water from his own fevered and parched lips, and held it
out to the dying soldier at his side." A Christian by the very conditions
of his creed, and the obligations of his faith is, of necessity, in