Our Deportment | Page 3

--Adapting yourself to others--Contradicting--A woman's good name --Expressing unfavorable opinions--Vulgarities--Miscellaneous rules governing conduct--Washington's maxims 266
CHAPTER XXIV.
ANNIVERSARY WEDDINGS.
How and when they are celebrated--The paper, cotton and leather weddings--The wooden wedding--The tin wedding--The crystal wedding--The silver wedding--The golden wedding--The diamond wedding--Presents at anniversary weddings--Forms of invitations, etc. 285
CHAPTER XXV.
BIRTHS AND CHRISTENINGS.
Naming the child--The christening--Godparents or sponsors--Presents from godparents--The ceremony--The breakfast--Christening gifts--The hero of the day--Fees 291
CHAPTER XXVI
FUNERALS.
Death notices and funeral invitations--Arrangement for the funeral--The house of mourning--Conducting the funeral services--The pall-bearers --Order of the procession--Floral and other decorations--Calls upon the bereaved family--Seclusion of the family 296
CHAPTER XXVII.
ETIQUETTE AT WASHINGTON.
Social duties required of the President and his family--Receptions at the White House--Order of official rank--Duties required of members of the cabinet and their families--How to address officials--The first to visit 303
CHAPTER XXVIII.
ETIQUETTE OF FOREIGN COURTS.
Foreign titles--Royalty--The nobility--The gentry--Esquires--Imperial rank--European titles--Presentation at the court of St. James--Those eligible and ineligible for presentation--Preliminaries--Presentation costumes 308
CHAPTER XXIX.
BUSINESS.
The example of a merchant prince--Keep your temper--Honesty the best policy--Form good habits--Breaking an appointment--Prompt payment of bills, notes and drafts--General suggestions 315
CHAPTER XXX.
DRESS.
Requirements for dressing well--Perils of the love of dress to weak minds--Consistency in dress--Extravagance--Indifference to dress--Appropriate dress--The wearing of gloves--Evening or full dress for gentlemen--Morning dress for gentlemen--Evening or full dress for ladies--Ball dresses--The full dinner dress--For receiving and making morning calls--Morning dress for street--Carriage dress--Promenade dress and walking suit--Opera dress--The riding dress--For women of business--Ordinary evening dress--For a social party--Dress for the theater, lecture and concert--Archery, croquet and skating costumes--Bathing dress--For traveling--The bridal costume--Dress of bridemaids--At wedding receptions--Mourning dress--How long mourning should be worn 320
CHAPTER XXXI.
COLORS AND THEIR HARMONY IN DRESS.
The proper arrangement of colors--The colors adapted to different persons--Material for dress--Size in relation to color and dress--A list of colors that harmonize 341
CHAPTER XXXII.
THE TOILET.
Importance of neatness and cleanliness--Perfumes--The bath--The teeth and their care--The skin--The eyes, eyelashes and brows--The hair and beard--The hands and feet 351
CHAPTER XXXIII.
TOILET RECIPES.
To remove freckles, pimples and sunburn--To beautify the complexion--To prevent the hair falling out--Pomades and hair oils--Sea foam or dry shampoo--To prevent the hair turning gray--To soften the skin--To cleanse the teeth--Remedy for chapped hands--For corns and chilblains, etc. 372
CHAPTER XXXIV.
SPORTS, GAMES AND AMUSEMENTS.
Archery and its practice--Lawn Tennis--Boating--Picnics--Private Theatricals--Card playing 398
CHAPTER XXXV.
LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS, 410
CHAPTER XXXVI.
PRECIOUS STONES, 423
CHAPTER I.
Introductory.
"Ingenious Art with her expressive face, Steps forth to fashion and refine the race."--COWPER.
A knowledge of etiquette has been defined to be a knowledge of the rules of society at its best. These rules have been the outgrowth of centuries of civilization, had their foundation in friendship and love of man for his fellow man--the vital principles of Christianity--and are most powerful agents for promoting peace, harmony and good will among all people who are enjoying the blessings of more advanced civilized government. In all civilized countries the influence of the best society is of great importance to the welfare and prosperity of the nation, but in no country is the good influence of the most refined society more powerfully felt than in our own, "the land of the future, where mankind may plant, essay, and resolve all social problems." These rules make social intercourse more agreeable, and facilitate hospitalities, when all members of society hold them as binding rules and faithfully regard their observance. They are to society what our laws are to the people as a political body, and to disregard them will give rise to constant misunderstandings, engender ill-will, and beget bad morals and bad manners.
Says an eminent English writer: "On manners, refinement, rules of good breeding, and even the forms of etiquette, we are forever talking, judging our neighbors severely by the breach of traditionary and unwritten laws, and choosing our society and even our friends by the touchstone of courtesy." The Marchioness de Lambert expressed opinions which will be endorsed by the best bred people everywhere when she wrote to her son: "Nothing is more shameful than a voluntary rudeness. Men have found it necessary as well as agreeable to unite for the common good; they have made laws to restrain the wicked; they have agreed among themselves as to the duties of society, and have annexed an honorable character to the practice of those duties. He is the honest man who observes them with the most exactness, and the instances of them multiply in proportion to the degree of nicety of a person's honor."
Originally a gentleman was defined to be one who, without any title of nobility, wore a coat of arms. And the descendants of many of the early colonists preserve with much pride and care the old armorial bearings which their ancestors brought with them from their homes in the mother country. Although despising titles and ignoring the rights of kings, they still clung to the "grand old name of gentleman." But race is no longer the only requisite for a gentleman,