Our Deportment | Page 2

be sent in envelopes to return formal calls--Glazed cards not in fashion--P.P.C. cards--Cards of congratulation--When sent--Leave cards in making first calls of the season and after invitations--Mourning cards--Christmas and Easter cards--Cards of condolence--Bridegroom's card. 75
CHAPTER VIII.
CONVERSATION.
Character revealed by conversation--Importance of conversing well--Children should be trained to talk well--Cultivation of the memory--Importance of remembering names--How Henry Clay acquired this habit--Listening--Writing down one's thoughts--Requisites for a good talker--Vulgarisms--Flippancy--Sympathizing with another--Bestowing compliments--Slang--Flattery--Scandal and gossip--Satire and ridicule--Religion and politics to be avoided--Bestowing of titles--Interrupting another while talking--Adaptability in conversation--Correct use of words--Speaking one's mind--Profanity --Display of knowledge--Double entendres--Impertinent questions --Things to be avoided in conversation--Hobbies--Fault-finding --Disputes 84
CHAPTER IX.
DINNER PARTIES.
Dinners are entertainments for married people--Whom to invite--Forms of invitations--Punctuality required--The success of a dinner party--Table appointments--Proper size of a dinner party--Arrangement of guests at table--Serving dinner a la Russe--Duties of servants--Serving the dishes--General rules regarding dinner--Waiting on others--Monopolizing conversation--Duties of hostess and host--Retiring from the table--Calls required after a dinner party--Returning hospitalities--Expensive dinners not the most enjoyable--Wines at dinners 106
CHAPTER X.
TABLE ETIQUETTE.
Importance of acquiring good habits at the table--Table appointments for breakfast, luncheon and dinner--Use of the knife and fork--Of the napkin--Avoid fast eating and all appearance of greediness--General rules on the subject 123
CHAPTER XI.
RECEPTIONS, PARTIES AND BALLS.
Morning receptions--The dress and refreshments for them--Invitations--Musical matinees--Parties in the country--Five o'clock teas and kettle-drums--Requisites for a successful ball--Introductions at a ball--Receiving guests--The number to invite--Duties of the guests--General rules to be observed at balls--Some suggestions for gentlemen--Duties of an escort--Preparations for a ball--The supper--An after-call required 129
CHAPTER XII.
STREET ETIQUETTE.
The street manners of a lady--Forming street acquaintances--Recognizing friends in the street--Saluting a lady--Passing through a crowd--The first to bow--Do not lack politeness--How a lady and gentleman should walk together--When to offer the lady the arm--Going up and down stairs--Smoking in the streets--Carrying packages--Meeting a lady acquaintance--Corner loafers--Shouting in the street--Shopping etiquette--For public conveyances--Cutting acquaintances--General suggestions 145
CHAPTER XIII.
ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES.
Conduct in church--Invitations to opera, theatres and concerts--Conduct in public assemblages--Remain until the performance closes--Conduct in picture galleries--Behavior at charity fairs--Conduct at an artist's studio 157
CHAPTER XIV.
TRAVELING ETIQUETTE.
Courtesies shown to ladies traveling alone--Duties of an escort--Duties of a lady to her escort--Ladies should assist other ladies traveling alone--The seats to be occupied in a railway car--Discretion to be used in forming acquaintances in traveling 167
CHAPTER XV.
RIDING AND DRIVING.
Learning to ride on horseback--The gentleman's duty as an escort in riding--How to assist a lady to mount--Riding with ladies--Assisting a lady to alight from a horse--Driving--The seat of honor in a carriage--Trusting the driver 174
CHAPTER XVI.
COURTSHIP.
Proper conduct of gentlemen and ladies toward each other--Premature declaration of love--Love at first sight--Proper manner of courtship--Parents should exercise authority over daughters--An acceptable suitor--Requirements for a happy marriage--Proposals of marriage--A gentleman should not press an unwelcome suit--A lady's refusal--A doubtful answer--Unladylike conduct toward a suitor--The rejected suitor--Asking consent of parents--Presents after engagement--Conduct and relations of the engaged couple--Lovers' quarrels--Breaking an engagement 179
CHAPTER XVII.
WEDDING ETIQUETTE.
Choice of bridemaids and groomsmen or ushers--The bridal costume Costumes of bridegroom and ushers--Presents of the bride and bridegroom--Ceremonials at church when there are no bridemaids or ushers--Invitations to the ceremony alone--The latest ceremonials--Weddings at home--The evening wedding--"At home" receptions--Calls--The wedding ring--Marriage ceremonials of a widow--Form of invitations to a reception--Duties of invited guests--Of bridemaids and ushers--Bridal presents--Master of ceremonies--Wedding fees--Congratulations--The bridal tour 194
CHAPTER XVIII.
HOME LIFE AND ETIQUETTE.
Home the woman's kingdom--Home companionship--Conduct of husband and wife--Duties of the wife to her husband--The wife a helpmate--The husband's duties 208
CHAPTER XIX.
HOME TRAINING.
First lessons learned at home--Parents should set good examples to their children--Courtesies in the home circle--Early moral training of children--The formation of their habits--Politeness at home--Train children for some occupation--Bad temper--Selfishness--Home maxims 216
CHAPTER XX.
HOME CULTURE.
Cultivate moral courage--The pernicious influence of indolence--Self-respect--Result of good breeding at home--Fault-finding and grumbling--Family jars not to be made public--Conflicting interests--Religious education--Obedience--Influence of example--The influence of books 225
CHAPTER XXI.
WOMAN'S HIGHER EDUCATION.
Its importance--Train young women to some occupation--Education of girls too superficial--An education appropriate to each sex--Knowledge of the laws of health needed by women--Idleness the source of all misery--A spirit of independence--Health and life dependent upon a higher culture--Cultivation of the moral sense 233
CHAPTER XXII.
THE LETTER WRITER.
Letter writing is an indication of good breeding--Requirements for correct writing--Anonymous letters--Note paper to be used--Forms of letters and notes--Forms of addressing notes and letters--Forms of signature--Letters of introduction--When to be given--Notes of invitation and replies thereto--Acceptances and regrets--Formal invitations must be answered--Letters of friendship--Love letters--Business letters and correspondence--Form of letter requesting employment--Regarding the character of a servant--Forms for notes, drafts, bills and receipts 242
CHAPTER XXIII.
GENERAL RULES TO GOVERN CONDUCT.
Attention to the young in society--Gracefulness of carriage--Attitude, coughing, sneezing, etc.--Anecdotes, puns, etc.--A sweet and pure breath--Smoking--A good listener--Give precedence to others--Be moderate in speaking--Singing and playing in society--Receiving and making presents--Governing our moods--A lady driving with a gentleman--An invitation cannot be recalled--Avoid talking of personalities--Shun gossip and tale bearing--Removing the hat--Intruding on privacy--Politeness