(Pearl walks away.)
(Pauses, aside, alarmed) Does she mean business? She's not a lawyer's
child for nothing. She might make a Breach of Promise out of this,
(tears up letter and pockets the pieces) I'd better blurt it out. (goes to
her) I say, it's not--er--it's not that.
Pearl. Not what?
Waver. I mean--er--(absently takes from his pocket a kodak made like a
large turnip watch, and fumbling nervously with it) I mean I've been
and got--er--I've been and got----
Pearl. A watch?
Waver. No. (aside) But it'll gain time, thank goodness.
Pearl. What is it? Do tell me.
Waver. A detective camera that defies detection.
Pearl. (rises) Oh, what fun! (takes it from him) Let's go and take
snap-shots at Andrew and Ruby when they're not looking, then they
shall take us--when we're not looking, (takes his arm)
(Enter Tupper.)
Waver. (aside) She does mean business.
(Exeunt Waverly and Pearl.)
Tupper. (looking after them) I don't like the look of those two gents,
(takes cigarette end off ash-tray, lights it) They've gorn and eloped with
the fust two customers we've 'ad. (lies on operating couch) Oh, well, I
don't interfere with other people's business. I got enough to do to look
after my own.
(Enter Doctor in high hat, frock coat, overcoat, carrying a Gladstone
bag, looks as if he had something on his mind.)
(Jumping off couch) I am glad to see you back, sir.
Doctor. Thank you, Tupper--a kind boy--unpack these, (hands him bag)
Tupper. (finds bag very heavy, drops it down by bureau, opens bottom
drawer, looks in, aside) Empty--must 'ave pawned the lot to buy the
noo ones, (takes out pile of books and papers and one collar) I wonder
if 'e's spliced, 'e looks un'appy enough. I'll arsk 'im. (chucks books,
MSS., collar, etc., into drawer, anyhow, crosses on tiptoe to Doctor)
'Ave yer brought 'er with yer, sir?
Doctor. (swinging round on revolving chair facing Tupper, who has
backed to bureau alarmed) Don't talk, I'm busy! (opening his
letters--aside) Can that boy have guessed? No, how could he? (picks up
Cummerbund's letter)
Tupper. (aside) 'E's got the letter! (closes drawer)
Doctor. (throwing down letters savagely) Bills, bills, bills--nothing but
bills! (walks up and down shying things about)
Tupper. (aside, stealing out on tiptoe) It's my last day out o' bed, I
know it is.
(Exit Tupper.)
Doctor. (takes card out of mirror) "Sir Peter and Lady Quayle request
the pleasure----" That's what did it, that dinner of Quayle's. Sir Peter
told me over dessert, that for the first six months after he started in
practice, he was starving. Then he met a young governess who was
starving too, and with what their friends called "sublime imprudence"
they got married. And he never looked behind him after. Then he said if
I meant to get on as a gynaecologist, I must get married. "Your wife
will prove a mascotte like mine did," he said, "and patients will flow
in--simply flow in." Well, I believe in Quayle. That was Tuesday night;
on Wednesday I ran down to Lowesloft, proposed to Flo on Thursday,
we were secretly married this morning at the Registry Office, she's
gone back to her people, and I've come back to town; and what do I
find? Nothing but bills, and I can't pay one of them. After settling for
the special license, my fare back to town, and that telegram to Aurora.
(feels in pocket, produces coppers) I've got sevenpence half-penny in
the wide world and a wife! It's all Quayle's fault! Damn Quayle! I'll
never believe in him again. I don't even know where my next meal is
coming from, (walks up and down)
(Enter Aurora with the tea--goes to small tea-table.)
Aurora. 'Ere's yer tea, sir. I was glad to get your telegram. Mrs. O'Hara
was getting quite anxious about you.
Doctor. (aside) About her rent, more likely.
Aurora. She wondered where you'd got to, but I knew, sir. 'Ow is the
pore lady? Do you think she'll get over it, Doctor?
Doctor. Don't talk, my good girl, I'm busy, (cuts bread)
Aurora (getting behind couch--aside) "'Is good girl," that I am, it's all
for 'im. I know 'e's starving. 'E goes for that stale quartern like the pore
prodigal gentleman with the 'usks, but I've got a treat for 'im, that there
card put it in my 'ead. (points to Quayle's card in mirror) I've bought
'im a beautiful bird, that'll give 'im a relish, (to Doctor) Couldn't you
fancy something light with yer tea, sir? (back of couch)
Doctor. Yes, I think I could--I'll finish that tin of potted pig I left, (rises,
gets cC)
Aurora. (aside) My stars! An' Tupper's ate it!
Doctor. (opens drawer of bureau) Hullo! It's gone!
Aurora. (to him) G-gone bad, sir.
Doctor. (suspiciously) Gone
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