New Irish Comedies | Page 4

any one at all till this day. It's a pity we should be parted!
_Taig:_ Is it to come following after me you would, before the face of
Dermot?
_Darby:_ I'd feel no dread and you being at my side.
_Taig:_ Dermot to see me in company with the like of you! I wouldn't
for the whole world he should be aware I had ever any traffic with
chimneys or with soot. It would not be for his honour you to draw
anear him!
_Darby: (Indignantly.)_ No but Timothy that would make objection to
yourself! He that would whip the world for manners and behaviour!
_Taig:_ Dermot that is better again. He that would write and dictate to
you at the one time!
_Darby:_ What is that beside owning tillage, and to need no education,
but to take rents into your hand?
_Taig:_ I would never believe him to own an estate.
_Darby:_ Why wouldn't he own it? "The biggest thing and the
grandest," my mother would say when I would ask her what was he
doing.
_Taig:_ Ah, what could be before selling out silks and satins. There is

many an estated lord couldn't reach you out a fourpenny bit.
_Darby:_ The grandest house around the seas of Ireland he should have,
beautifully made up! You would nearly go astray in it! It wouldn't be
known what you could make of it at all! You wouldn't have it walked in
a month!
_Taig:_ What is that beside having a range of shops as wide maybe as
the street beyond?
_Darby:_ A house would be the capital of the county! One door for the
rich, one door for the common! Velvet carpets rolled up, the way there
would no dust from the chimney fall upon them. A hundred wouldn't be
many standing in a corner of that place! A high bed of feathers, curled
hair mattresses. A cover laid on it would be flowery with blossoms of
gold!
_Taig:_ Muslin and gauze, cambric and linen! Canton crossbar! Glass
windows full up of ribbons as gaudy as the crooked bow in the sky!
Sovereigns and shillings in and out as plenty as to riddle rape seed.
Sure them that do be selling in shops die leaving millions.
_Darby:_ Your man is not so good as mine in his office or in his billet.
_Taig:_ There is the horn of the coach. Get out now till I'll prepare
myself. He might chance to come seeking for me here.
_Darby:_ There's a lather of sweat on myself. That's my tin can of
water!
_Taig: (Holding can from him.)_ Get out I tell you! I wouldn't wish
him to feel the smell of you on the breeze.
_Darby: (Almost crying.)_ You are a mean savage to go keeping from
me my tin can and my rag!
_Taig:_ Go wash yourself at the pump can't you?
_Darby:_ That we may never be within the same four walls again, or
come under the lintel of the one door! _(He goes out.)_
_Taig: (Calling after him while he takes a suit of clothes from his
bag.)_ I'm not like yourself! I have good clothes to put on me, what you
haven't got! A body-coat my mother made out--she lost up to three
shillings on it,--and a hat--and a speckled blue cravat. _(He hastily
throws off his sweep's smock and cap, and puts on clothes. As he does
he sings:)_
All round my hat I wore a green ribbon, All round my hat for a year
and a day; And if any one asks me the reason I wore it I'll say that my

true love went over the sea!
All in my hat I will stick a blue feather The same as the birds do be up
in the tree; And if you would ask me the reason I do it I'll tell you my
true love is come back to me!
_(He washes his face and wipes it, looking at himself in the tin can. He
catches sight of a straw hat passing window.)_
Who is that? A gentleman? _(He draws back.)_
_(Darby comes in. He has changed his clothes and wears a straw hat
and light coat and trousers. He is looking for a necktie which he had
dropped and picks up. His back is turned to Taig who is standing at the
other door.)_
_Taig: (Awed.)_ It cannot be that you are Dermot Melody?
_Darby:_ My father's name was Melody sure enough, till he lost his life
in the year of the black potatoes.
_Taig:_ It is yourself I am come here purposely to meet with.
_Darby:_ You should be my mother's sister's son so, Timothy
O'Harragha.
_Taig: (Sheepishly.)_ I am that. I am sorry indeed it failed me to be out
before you in the