Nature and Human Nature | Page 2

The Americans are not entitled to the credit or ridicule, whichever
people may be disposed to bestow upon them, for the extraordinary
phrases with which their conversation is occasionally embellished.
Some of them have good classical authority. That of "pull-foot" may be
traced to Euripides, [Greek text].
My old friend had worn well; he was still a wiry athletic man, and his
step as elastic and springy as ever. The constant exercise he had been in
the habit of taking had preserved his health and condition, and these in
their turn had enabled him to maintain his cheerfulness and humour.
The lines in his face were somewhat deeper, and a few straggling grey
hairs were the only traces of the hand of time. His manner was much
improved by his intercourse with the great world; but his phraseology,

in which he appeared to take both pride and pleasure, was much the
same as when I first knew him. So little indeed was he changed, that I
could scarcely believe so many years had elapsed since we made our
first tour together.
It was the most unexpected and agreeable visit. He enlivened the
conversation at dinner with anecdotes that were often too much for the
gravity of my servant, who once or twice left the room to avoid
explosive outbreaks of laughter. Among others, he told me the
following whimsical story.
"When the 'Black Hawk' was at Causeau, we happened to have a queer
original sort of man, a Nova Scotia doctor, on board, who joined our
party at Ship Harbour, for the purpose of taking a cruise with us. Not
having anything above particular to do, we left the vessel and took
passage in a coaster for Prince Edward's Island, as my commission
required me to spend a day or two there, and inquire about the fisheries.
Well, although I don't trade now, I spekelate sometimes when I see a
right smart chance, and especially if there is fun in the transaction. So,
sais I, 'Doctor, I will play possum1 with these folks, and take a rise out
of them, that will astonish their weak narves, I know, while I put
several hundred dollars in my pocket at the same time.' So I advertised
that I would give four pounds ten shillings for the largest Hackmetack
knee in the island, four pounds for the second, three pounds ten
shillings for the third, and three pounds for the fourth biggest one. I
suppose, Squire, you know what a ship's knee is, don't you? It is a
crooked piece of timber, exactly the shape of a man's leg when
kneeling. It forms two sides of a square, and makes a grand fastening
for the side and deck beams of a vessel.
1 The opossum, when chased by dogs, will often pretend to be dead,
and thus deceives his pursuers.
"'What in the world do you want of only four of those knees?' said the
Doctor.
"'Nothing,' said I, 'but to raise a laugh on these critters, and make them
pay real handsome for the joke.'
"Well, every bushwhacker and forest ranger in the island thought he
knew where to find four enormous ones, and that he would go and get
them, and say nothing to nobody, and all that morning fixed for the
delivery they kept coming into the shipping place with them. People

couldn't think what under the light of the living sun was going on, for it
seemed as if every team in the province was at work, and all the
countrymen were running mad on junipers. Perhaps no livin' soul ever
see such a beautiful collection of ship-timber afore, and I am sure never
will again in a crow's age. The way these 'old oysters' (a nick-name I
gave the islanders, on account of their everlastin' beds of this shell-fish)
opened their mugs and gaped was a caution to dying calves.
"At the time appointed, there were eight hundred sticks on the ground,
the very best in the colony. Well, I went very gravely round and
selected the four largest, and paid for them cash down on the nail,
according to contract. The goneys seed their fix, but didn't know how
they got into it. They didn't think hard of me, for I advertised for four
sticks only, and I gave a very high price for them; but they did think a
little mean of themselves, that's a fact, for each man had but four pieces,
and they were too ridiculous large for the thunderin' small vessels built
on the island. They scratched their heads in a way that was harrowing,
even in a stubble field.
"'My gracious,' sais I, 'hackmetacks, it seems to me, is as thick in this
country as blackberries in the Fall, after the robins have left