Narcissism Book of Quotes | Page 8

him, give him all the NS he demands, abdicate control. So, while his primary goal isn't to hurt me, it becomes a goal if that's what it takes to get NS out of me."
"Through my self-education I've experienced opposite ends of emotion. On one hand it's been enlightening, cleansing, joyous, and uplifting. On the other hand it's been revolting, heart-achingly painful, gut-wrenchingly toxic, and horribly embarrassing."
"After finding this group, as much as I have been comforted, I have also been disturbed by the hurt that all of us have survived thus far at the hand of an N. I think I might still be in shock that my N, a human being, is actually capable of hurting another so much, with no remorse - except when it impacts him."
"One of the very difficult things to deal with after being the victim of a Narcissist is that most people will not want to believe what happened to you, even if they saw it with their own eyes!"
"The point is, I was getting sick and mad, was losing weight and concentration at work... I'm the typical co-dependent, I know... and I really thought the power of love would help."
"Sam Vaknin's article Other People's Pain is well worth reading right now. It's like a bucket of ice water when we need it to remind ourselves what this is all about."
"I guess the computer is a screen for Ns - they can present themselves anyway they want and be exactly what you say, someone's prince charming. The e-card that I found from his last affair had her saying: 'I can't wait to make you happy for the rest of my life and give you the love you deserve!' UGH! I can't even imagine what bag of goods he sold her."
"I too became lost in HIS world, started walking on eggshells and worrying if I said or was behaving the right way for him. He was so methodical in his control over me and like you, he would throw a bone at me (usually some old flowers on their way out), and I like a jerk would get so excited that he thought a little about me with the award of almost dead flowers. So sad."
"I remember asking tons of people if he ever made eye contact with them. This was before I knew anything about NPD, but I knew there was something very, very wrong with him. EVERYONE said NO, without hesitation - it was as if they had all thought about that very thing, or at least had noticed it independently. Creepy."
"I learned that 'kicking you when you're down' is a standard characteristic of the N."
"I told him no more because he was making me feel horrible, but the fact that he accepted it so easily hurts all the more. It validates just how meaningless all of it was and is. I was feeling OK and suddenly it's all hit me again like a ton of bricks."
"Ns install a mental filter in our heads a little bit at a time. Before we know it, everything we do, say, or think, goes through this filter. 'Will he get upset if I do/say/think this? Will he approve/disapprove? Will he feel hurt by this?' Until we can uninstall the N-filter, our actions are controlled by N to some degree."
"The humiliation, the insults, the lies, the abuse, the character defamation and on and on and on. We may understand that they are 'sick', but then it is just us understanding them again. It doesn't really help us much to heal our pain."
"When we get to feeling too good, too happy, too satisfied, too optimistic, too excited, too anything that the N was not responsible for, then it is the N's job to rip that feeling away from us."
"Was mine a charismatic psychopath or a garden-variety N? I just don't know l00% what he is capable of. Maybe he doesn't either. It's a very good thing to be scared sometimes, especially when tempted to N-dip. It's not only our emotional wellbeing at stake here. It can be our physical (health included) safety as well."
"You may see in the man a part of yourself that is missing. A good man can help supply a feeling of wholeness and inner peace. He can help make you feel safe. An N can spot this better than anyone else. He goes after it like the drumstick at the Thanksgiving dinner. He knows people because of an over-developed inner sense. He reads people for a living. His needs are greater than yours, but he denies it to all. You may face on occasion anxiety and fear, but his is more intense and always with him. It is inevitable that the two of you will find each other. You are looking and so is