Narcissism Book of Quotes | Page 7

where the only food is meat and we're the cattle. That's why, at the most primitive level, they think they 'have to' act the way they do in order to survive. They've got a vested interest in suppressing that empathy. At a fundamental level, WE ARE NOT REAL to them. Do you ever wonder if your hamburger had a name? You and I are interchangeable cows to them. Stings a little, right? Yes, they're accountable, all right. They try to mutilate us for meat! Once we get over the shock that THAT THERE REALLY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD, our sense of survival kicks in and we get out before they slaughter us wholesale. Arguing with them about the reality of their perceptions is pointless; it won't stop them from hacking off a piece of meat. The damage they do is real, but don't expect them to ever understand that, not on a gut level where it counts for you and me. You want to get even with the N? Take away the meat."
"They mix people up by screwing up the issues up so we get confused. Then they reprioritize everything for us by getting angry so we have to look at them first, we think and we worry about them first. It becomes all about them. Everything else, especially ourselves and things once important to us becomes second fiddle. No wonder we feel something isn't right and we don't realize how we got ourselves into such a predicament."
"Like you, I have the 'I hope he gets his just desserts' thoughts. But there'll always be someone they can fool. (In my ex-N's case, aged 45, I see he's homed in on a 20 year old who he 'helps' with her exams, I hope she's astute enough to suss him out, but who knows?). The really true sign we've recovered completely is that we won't harbour thoughts about what they're doing to whom - not care - or at least accept that it's out of our control. Do we really care about the 'others' - or - and I hold my hand up here, are we perhaps not more enraged that they're still 'getting away' with it!!!?"
"I was married for several years to a man who exhibited this precise pattern. It ultimately ended in a domestic violence situation and after great struggle, I left him. The act of leaving him brought further abuse and grievances."
"I guess the reality is that even when it seems so completely innocent, there's always an ulterior motive running through their minds. It blows me away that every event in their lives, no matter how significant or insignificant, can always be used to create the turmoil that seems to constantly surround them."
"Your post evoked a memory of yet another conversation I had with my ex-N. I had referred to sex as making love. She looked at me very inquisitively and said: 'I noticed you say that a lot - why do you call it making love?' So, I replied: 'Why, what would you call it?' Her response was: 'I would just call it SEX. I'm not really sure what LOVE is!' Looking back, it was yet another obvious NPD zinger that zinged right by me."
"Almost four years and he didn't know my birthday or my full name! It's their way of saying 'you don't matter that much to me'."
"Pretend you are someone other than yourself looking into what's going on in your head. It helps me because it detaches me somehow and I can see things clearer when looking at it in a different perspective."
"We cannot accurately predict what response we will get on any given day. And without the ability to predict - without a stable system on which we can rely - we wind up tying ourselves into knots trying desperately to please and walking on eggshells hoping to avoid this unpredictable wrath."
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
"He chose every path less likely to cause him any disruption in his routine, without giving one ounce of thought of the retributions of his acts. And whenever asked for an explanation the response was always the same... It was someone else's fault or, if there was no one else to point the finger of blame to, he 'couldn't remember' the event in question, or he was just feeling bad that day."
"In my case N, husband of 12 years, is not exactly malicious. He doesn't set out to hurt me just for kicks, in my opinion. He hurts me as little or as much as it takes to achieve his goal: to make me dependant on him in as many ways, obey