My Friend The Murderer

My Friend The Murderer, by A.
Conan Doyle

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Title: My Friend The Murderer
Author: A. Conan Doyle
Release Date: October 17, 2007 [EBook #23059]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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FRIEND THE MURDERER ***

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MY FRIEND THE MURDERER
By A. Conan Doyle
"Number 481 is no better, doctor," said the head-warder, in a slightly

reproachful accent, looking in round the corner of my door.
"Confound 481" I responded from behind the pages of the Australian
Sketcher.
"And 61 says his tubes are paining him. Couldn't you do anything for
him?"
"He is a walking drug-shop," said I. "He has the whole British
pharmacopaæ inside him. I believe his tubes are as sound as yours are."
"Then there's 7 and 108, they are chronic," continued the warder,
glancing down a blue slip of paper. "And 28 knocked off work
yesterday--said lifting things gave him a stitch in the side. I want you to
have a look at him, if you don't mind, doctor. There's 81, too--him that
killed John Adamson in the Corinthian brig--he's been carrying on
awful in the night, shrieking and yelling, he has, and no stopping him
either."
"All right, I'll have a look at him afterward," I said, tossing my paper
carelessly aside, and pouring myself out a cup of coffee. "Nothing else
to report, I suppose, warder?"
The official protruded his head a little further into the room. "Beg
pardon, doctor," he said, in a confidential tone, "but I notice as 82 has a
bit of a cold, and it would be a good excuse for you to visit him and
have a chat, maybe."
The cup of coffee was arrested half-way to my lips as I stared in
amazement at the man's serious face.
"An excuse?" I said. "An excuse? What the deuce are you talking about,
McPherson? You see me trudging about all day at my practise, when
I'm not looking after the prisoners, and coming back every night as
tired as a dog, and you talk about finding an excuse for doing more
work."
"You'd like it, doctor," said Warder McPherson, insinuating one of his

shoulders into the room. "That man's story's worth listening to if you
could get him to tell it, though he's not what you'd call free in his
speech. Maybe you don't know who 82 is?"
"No, I don't, and I don't care either," I answered, in the conviction that
some local ruffian was about to be foisted upon me as a celebrity.
"He's Maloney," said the warder, "him that turned Queen's evidence
after the murders at Bluemansdyke."
"You don't say so?" I ejaculated, laying down my cup in astonishment.
I had heard of this ghastly series of murders, and read an account of
them in a London magazine long before setting foot in the colony. I
remembered that the atrocities committed had thrown the Burke and
Hare crimes completely into the shade, and that one of the most
villainous of the gang had saved his own skin by betraying his
companions. "Are you sure?" I asked.
"Oh, yes, it's him right enough. Just you draw him out a bit, and he'll
astonish you. He's a man to know, is Maloney; that's to say, in
moderation;" and the head grinned, bobbed, and disappeared, leaving
me to finish my breakfast and ruminate over what I had heard.
The surgeonship of an Australian prison is not an enviable position. It
may be endurable in Melbourne or Sydney, but the little town of Perth
has few attractions to recommend it, and those few had been long
exhausted. The climate was detestable, and the society far from
congenial. Sheep and cattle were the staple support of the community;
and their prices, breeding, and diseases the principal topic of
conversation. Now as I, being an outsider, possessed neither the one
nor the other, and was utterly callous to the new "dip" and the "rot" and
other kindred topics, I found myself in a state of mental isolation, and
was ready to hail anything which might relieve the monotony of my
existence. Maloney, the murderer, had at least some distinctiveness and
individuality in his character, and might act as a tonic to a mind sick of
the commonplaces of existence. I determined that I should follow the
warder's advice, and take the excuse for making his acquaintance.
When, therefore, I went upon my usual matutinal