Mrs Lirripers Lodgings | Page 7

the better of her, and I says "Gentlemen
Policemen pray remember that her sex is the sex of your mothers and
sisters and your sweethearts, and God bless them and you!" And there
she was sitting down on the ground handcuffed, taking breath against
the skirting-board and them cool with their coats in strips, and all she
says was "Mrs. Lirriper I'm sorry as ever I touched you, for you're a
kind motherly old thing," and it made me think that I had often wished
I had been a mother indeed and how would my heart have felt if I had
been the mother of that girl! Well you know it turned out at the
Police-office that she had done it before, and she had her clothes away
and was sent to prison, and when she was to come out I trotted off to
the gate in the evening with just a morsel of jelly in that little basket of
mine to give her a mite of strength to face the world again, and there I
met with a very decent mother waiting for her son through bad
company and a stubborn one he was with his half-boots not laced. So
out came Caroline and I says "Caroline come along with me and sit
down under the wall where it's retired and eat a little trifle that I have

brought with me to do you good," and she throws her arms round my
neck and says sobbing "O why were you never a mother when there are
such mothers as there are!" she says, and in half a minute more she
begins to laugh and says "Did I really tear your cap to shreds?" and
when I told her "You certainly did so Caroline" she laughed again and
said while she patted my face "Then why do you wear such queer old
caps you dear old thing? if you hadn't worn such queer old caps I don't
think I should have done it even then." Fancy the girl! Nothing could
get out of her what she was going to do except O she would do well
enough, and we parted she being very thankful and kissing my hands,
and I nevermore saw or heard of that girl, except that I shall always
believe that a very genteel cap which was brought anonymous to me
one Saturday night in an oilskin basket by a most impertinent young
sparrow of a monkey whistling with dirty shoes on the clean steps and
playing the harp on the Airy railings with a hoop-stick came from
Caroline.
What you lay yourself open to my dear in the way of being the object
of uncharitable suspicions when you go into the Lodging business I
have not the words to tell you, but never was I so dishonourable as to
have two keys nor would I willingly think it even of Miss Wozenham
lower down on the other side of the way sincerely hoping that it may
not be, though doubtless at the same time money cannot come from
nowhere and it is not reason to suppose that Bradshaws put it in for
love be it blotty as it may. It IS a hardship hurting to the feelings that
Lodgers open their minds so wide to the idea that you are trying to get
the better of them and shut their minds so close to the idea that they are
trying to get the better of you, but as Major Jackman says to me, "I
know the ways of this circular world Mrs. Lirriper, and that's one of
'em all round it" and many is the little ruffle in my mind that the Major
has smoothed, for he is a clever man who has seen much. Dear dear,
thirteen years have passed though it seems but yesterday since I was
sitting with my glasses on at the open front parlour window one
evening in August (the parlours being then vacant) reading yesterday's
paper my eyes for print being poor though still I am thankful to say a
long sight at a distance, when I hear a gentleman come posting across
the road and up the street in a dreadful rage talking to himself in a fury

and d'ing and c'ing somebody. "By George!" says he out loud and
clutching his walking-stick, "I'll go to Mrs. Lirriper's. Which is Mrs.
Lirriper's?" Then looking round and seeing me he flourishes his hat
right off his head as if I had been the queen and he says, "Excuse the
intrusion Madam, but pray Madam can you tell me at what number in
this street there resides a well-known and much-respected lady by the
name of Lirriper?" A little flustered though I must say gratified I took
off my glasses and courtesied and