Mr. Midshipman Easy | Page 8

she had been floored, Mrs Easy had
rolled on the floor, the urn was also on the floor, and Mr Easy, although
not floored, had not a leg to stand upon.
Never did a medical man look in more opportunely. Mr Easy at first
was not certainly of that opinion, but his legs became so painful that he
soon became a convert.
Dr Middleton, as in duty bound, first picked up Mrs Easy, and laid her
on the sofa. Sarah rose, picked up Johnny, and carried him, kicking and
roaring, out of the room; in return for which attention she received
sundry bites. The footman, who had announced the doctor, picked up
the urn, that being all that was in his department. Mr Easy threw
himself panting in agony on the other sofa, and Dr Middleton was
excessively embarrassed how to act: he perceived that Mr Easy
required his assistance, and that Mrs Easy could do without it; but how
to leave a lady, who was half really and half pretendedly in hysterics,
was difficult; for if he attempted to leave her, she kicked and flounced,
and burst out the more. At last Dr Middleton rang the bell, which
brought the footman, who summoned all the maids, who carried Mrs
Easy upstairs, and then the Doctor was able to attend to the only patient
who really required his assistance. Mr Easy explained the affair in few
words, broken into ejaculations from pain, as the Doctor removed his
stockings. From the applications of Dr Middleton, Mr Easy soon
obtained bodily relief; but what annoyed him still more than his scalded
legs, was the Doctor having been a witness to his infringement of the
equality and rights of man. Dr Middleton perceived this, and he knew
also how to pour balm into that wound.
"My dear Mr Easy, I am very sorry that you have had this accident, for
which you are indebted to Mrs Easy's foolish indulgence of the boy; but
I am glad to perceive that you have taken up those parental duties
which are inculcated by the Scriptures. Solomon says, "that he who
spares the rod, spoils the child," thereby implying that it is the duty of a
father to correct his children, and in a father, the so doing does not
interfere with the rights of man, or any natural equality, for the son

being a part or portion of the father, he is only correcting his own self;
and the proof of it is, that a father, in punishing his own son, feels as
much pain in so doing as if he were himself punished. It is, therefore,
nothing but self-discipline, which is strictly enjoined us by the
Scriptures."
"That is exactly my opinion," replied Mr Easy, comforted at the Doctor
having so logically got him out of the scrape. "But-he shall go to school
to-morrow, that I'm determined on."
"He will have to thank Mrs Easy for that," replied the Doctor.
"Exactly," replied Mr Easy. "Doctor, my legs are getting very hot
again."
"Continue to bathe them with the vinegar and water, Mr Easy, until I
send you an embrocation, which will give you immediate relief. I will
call to-morrow. By-the-bye, I am to see a little patient at Mr
Bonnycastle's: if it is any accommodation, I will take your son with
me."
"It will be a great accommodation, Doctor," replied Mr Easy.
"Then, my dear sir, I will just go up and see how Mrs Easy is, and
to-morrow I will call at ten. I can wait an hour. Good-night."
"Good-night, Doctor."
The doctor had his game to play with Mrs Easy. He magnified her
husband's accident-he magnified his wrath, and advised her by no
means to say one word, until he was well and more pacified. The next
day he repeated this dose, and, in spite of the ejaculations of Sarah, and
the tears of Mrs Easy, who dared not venture to plead her cause, and
the violent resistance of Master Johnny, who appeared to have a
presentiment of what was to come, our hero was put into Dr
Middleton's chariot, and with the exception of one plate of glass, which
he kicked out of the window with his feet, and for which feat the
Doctor, now that he had him all to himself, boxed his ears till he was

nearly blind, he was, without any further eventful occurrence, carried
by the Doctor's footman into the parlour of Mr Bonnycastle.

CHAPTER V
Jack Easy is sent to a school at which there is no flogging.
MASTER JACK had been plumped down in a chair by the doctor's
servant, who, as he quitted him, first looked at his own hands, from
which the blood was drawn in several parts, and then at Master Jack,
with his