Mr Pim Passes By | Page 4

interview with GEORGE when he catches
sight of_ PIM.)
Then we'll--hullo, here's Brian! (Crossing below and to his R. _seizing
him_.) Brian, this is Mr. Pim! Mr. Carraway Pim. He's been telling me
all about himself.
PIM. I haven't said a word. I never opened my mouth.
DINAH. It's so interesting. He's just going to send a telegram, and then
he's coming back again. Mr. Pim--(_coyly and moving down to head of
settee R.)--this is Brian--you_ know,
BRIAN (nodding). How-do-you-do?
PIM. How-do-you-do, sir?
DINAH (pleadingly and crossing below BRIAN to PIM), You won't
mind going to the post office by yourself now, will you? (_Coyly
moving up to chair by writing-table and nervously kicking her ankle,
etc_.) Because, you see, Brian and I--(She looks lovingly at BRIAN.)
PIM (moved to sentiment). Miss Dinah and Mr.--er--Brian, I have only
come into your lives for a moment, and it is probable that I shall now
pass out of them for ever, but perhaps you will permit an old man--
DINAH. Oh, not so old!
PIM (chuckling happily). Not old? Well, shall we say a middle-aged
man--(DINAH nods assent. PIM laughs again)--a middle-aged man to
wish you both every happiness in the years that you have before you.
(Crossing in front of DINAH, shakes hands with BRIAN.) Good-bye--
(shaking hands with DINAH)--good-bye, and thank you so much. Oh, I
know my way. (Moving up L. and turning to DINAH.) Turn to the left
and down the hill? Turn to the left and down the hill.
(Exit PIM up L. DINAH watches him off up L. on terrace and BRIAN
up R.)

DINAH (coming into the room below writing-table to R.C.). Brian,
he'll get lost if he goes that way.
BRIAN (crossing at back of windows and calling after him up L.).
Round to the left, sir. Yes, that's right. (_He comes back into the room,
crossing down_ L.C.) Rum old bird. Who is he?
DINAH. Darling, you haven't kissed me yet.
BRIAN (moving up to her and pulling her down to below settee L.), Oh,
I say. I oughtn't to, but then one never ought to do the nice things.
DINAH. Why oughtn't you?
(They sit on the sofa together--BRIAN to R., DINAH to L.)
BRIAN. Well, we said we'd be good until we'd told your uncle and aunt
all about it. You see, being a guest in their house--
DINAH. But, darling child, what have you been doing all this morning
except telling George?
BRIAN. Oh, trying to tell George.
DINAH (nodding). Yes, of course, there's a difference.
BRIAN. I think he guessed there was something up, and he took me
down to see the pigs--he said he had to see the pigs at once--I don't
know why; an appointment perhaps. And we talked about pigs all the
way, and I couldn't say, "Talking about pigs, I want to marry your
niece--"
DINAH (with mock indignation). Oh, of course you couldn't.
BRIAN. No. Well, you see how it was. And then when we'd finished
talking about pigs, we started talking to the pigs--
DINAH (eagerly). Oh, how is Arnold?

BRIAN. Arnold...? Oh yes, that's the little black-and-white one? He's
very jolly, I believe, but naturally I wasn't thinking about him much. I
was wondering how to begin. And then Lumsden came up, and wanted
to talk pig-food, and the atmosphere grew less and less romantic,
and--and I gradually drifted away.
DINAH. Oh, poor darling! Well, we shall have to approach him
through Olivia.
BRIAN. But I always wanted to tell her first; she's so much easier.
Only you wouldn't let me.
DINAH. That's your fault, Brian. You would tell Olivia that she ought
to have orange-and-black curtains in here.
BRIAN. But she wants orange and black curtains in here.
DINAH. Yes. (Rising and standing with her back to fire, imitating
GEORGE.) But George says he's not going to have any Futuristic
nonsense in an honest English country house, which has been good
enough for his father and his grandfather and his great-grandfather,
and--and all the rest of them. (Kneels on settee.) So there's a sort of
strained feeling between Olivia and George just now, and if Olivia
were to--sort of recommend you, well, it wouldn't do you much good.
BRIAN (looking at her). I see. Of course I know what you want, Dinah.
DINAH. What do I want?
BRIAN. You want a secret engagement--
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. And notes left under door-mats--
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. And meetings by the withered thorn--

DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. When all the household is asleep.
DINAH. Oh!
BRIAN. I know you.
DINAH. Oh, but it is such fun! I love meeting people by withered
thorns.
BRIAN. Well, I'm not going to have it.
DINAH (childishly, sitting close to him). Oh, George! Look at us being
husbandy!
BRIAN. You babe! I