Mr Pim Passes By | Page 3

said,
"Dinah, how would you like to have a beautiful aunt of your very
own?" (PIM laughs.) And I said: "Congratulations, George." (PIM
laughs again.) That was the first time I called him George. Of course,
I'd seen it coming for weeks. Telworthy, isn't it a funny name?

PIM. Oh, a most curious name--Telworthy. From Australia, you say?
DINAH. Yes, I always say that he's probably still alive, and will turn
up here one morning and annoy George.
PIM (shocked). Oh!
DINAH. But I'm afraid there's not much chance.
PIM (shocked). Miss Marden! Really!
DINAH, Well, of course, I don't really want it to happen, but it would
be rather exciting. (Crossing to PIM.) Wouldn't it, Mr Pim?
PIM. Exciting!
(PIM crosses to below settee L.)
DINAH. However, things like that never seem to occur down here,
somehow, (Running up into window up R. PIM watches her.) There
was a hayrick burnt last year about a mile away, but that isn't the same,
is it?
PIM. No, I should say that that was certainly different.
DINAH (coming to back of table L.C.). Of course, something very,
very wonderful did happen last night. (Backing away.) No, no! I'm not
sure if I know you well enough--(She looks at him hesitatingly.)
PIM (uncomfortably). Really, Miss Marden, you mustn't. I am only a--a
passer-by, here to-day and gone to-morrow. You really mustn't--
DINAH (looking round and earning down to PIM), And yet there's
something about you, Mr. Pim, which inspires confidence.
PIM (moving to L.). Oh, no. Really, you mustn't tell me.
DINAH (taking his arm). The fact is--(in a stage whisper)--I got
engaged last night!

PIM. Dear me, let me congratulate you. I wish somebody would come
here.
DINAH (running up to foot of staircase up R. and looking off), I expect
that's why George is keeping you such a long time. (Turning to PIM.)
Brian, my young man, the well-known painter--only nobody has ever
heard of him--he's smoking a pipe with George in the library and
asking for his niece's hand. (Coming back to PIM, _and taking his
hands, she dances round with him in a circle_.)
(PIM falls exhausted and coughing on to settee L. and DINAH
_laughing sits on settee_ R.)
DINAH. Isn't it exciting? You're really rather lucky, Mr. Pim--I mean
being told so soon. Even Olivia doesn't know yet.
PIM. Yes, yes, I congratulate you, Miss Marden. Perhaps it would be
better--(About to get up.)
(ANNE comes in from staircase up R. She comes to C.)
ANNE. Mr. Marden is out at the moment, sir--
DINAH (disappointed). Oh!
ANNE (seeing DINAH). Oh, I didn't see you, Miss Dinah!
PIM. Out! Eh? Dear! Dear!
DINAH, It's all right, Anne. (Rising.) I'm looking after Mr. Pim.
ANNE. Very well, Miss.
PIM (sotto voce). Out! Oh, well, I'd better go--
(Exit ANNE up staircase B.)
DINAH (excitedy). That's me. (_Running up to foot of staircase and
watching ANNE off_.) They can't discuss me in the library without

breaking down--(coming down R. and imitating GEORGE and
BRIAN)--so they're walking up and down outside, and slashing at the
thistles in order to conceal their emotion. You know. I expect
Brian--(_Crossing up to R. of window_.)
PIM (rising, calling). Miss Marden! Miss Marden! (_Looking at his
watch_.) Yes, I think, Miss Marden, I had better go now and return a
little later. I have a telegram which I want to send, and perhaps by the
time I come back your uncle will be able--
DINAH (coming to PIM). Oh, but how disappointing of you, when we
were getting on together so nicely! And it was just going to be your
turn to tell me all about yourself.
PIM. I have really nothing to tell, Miss Marden. I have a letter of
introduction to your uncle, who in turn will give me, I hope, a letter to a
certain distinguished man whom it is necessary for me to meet. That is
all. (Holding out his hand.) And now, Miss Marden, I really think I'd
better be going.
DINAH (taking his arm and hading him up stage C. to L.). Oh, I'll start
you on your way to the post office.
PIM. Will you? Now, that's really very kind of you.
DINAH. No, it isn't.
PIM. Oh, but it is! You're a very kind little girl.
DINAH. I want to know if you're married--
PIM. Oh, no, I'm not married.
DINAH.--and all that sort of thing. You've got heaps to tell me, Mr.
Pim. Have you got your hat? (PIM shows his hat.) Oh yes! That's right.
(BRIAN STRANGE comes in from window up R. He is what
GEORGE _calls a damned futuristic painter chap, aged 24. To look at
he is a very pleasant boy, rather untidily dressed. He is about to tell

DINAH the result of his