Misalliance | Page 7

diminishing difficulty, collects himself]._ Bentley is a
problem which I confess I have never been able to solve. He was born
to be a great success at the age of fifty. Most Englishmen of his class
seem to be born to be great successes at the age of twenty-four at most.

The domestic problem for me is how to endure Bentley until he is fifty.
The problem for the nation is how to get itself governed by men whose
growth is arrested when they are little more than college lads. Bentley
doesnt really mean to be offensive. You can always make him cry by
telling him you dont like him. Only, he cries so loud that the
experiment should be made in the open air: in the middle of Salisbury
Plain if possible. He has a hard and penetrating intellect and a
remarkable power of looking facts in the face; but unfortunately, being
very young, he has no idea of how very little of that sort of thing most
of us can stand. On the other hand, he is frightfully sensitive and even
affectionate; so that he probably gets as much as he gives in the way of
hurt feelings. Youll excuse me rambling on like this about my son.
JOHNNY. [who has pulled himself together] You did it on purpose. I
wasnt quite myself: I needed a moment to pull round: thank you.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Not at all. Is your father at home?
JOHNNY. No: he's opening one of his free libraries. Thats another nice
little penny gone. He's mad on reading. He promised another free
library last week. It's ruinous. Itll hit you as well as me when Bunny
marries Hypatia. When all Hypatia's money is thrown away on libraries,
where will Bunny come in? Cant you stop him?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. I'm afraid not. Hes a perfect whirlwind.
Indefatigable at public work. Wonderful man, I think.
JOHNNY. Oh, public work! He does too much of it. It's really a sort of
laziness, getting away from your own serious business to amuse
yourself with other people's. Mind: I dont say there isnt another side to
it. It has its value as an advertisement. It makes useful acquaintances
and leads to valuable business connections. But it takes his mind off the
main chance; and he overdoes it.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. The danger of public business is that it never
ends. A man may kill himself at it.
JOHNNY. Or he can spend more on it than it brings him in: thats how I

look at it. What I say is that everybody's business is nobody's business.
I hope I'm not a hard man, nor a narrow man, nor unwilling to pay
reasonable taxes, and subscribe in reason to deserving charities, and
even serve on a jury in my turn; and no man can say I ever refused to
help a friend out of a difficulty when he was worth helping. But when
you ask me to go beyond that, I tell you frankly I dont see it. I never
did see it, even when I was only a boy, and had to pretend to take in all
the ideas the Governor fed me up with. I didnt see it; and I dont see it.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. There is certainly no business reason why
you should take more than your share of the world's work.
JOHNNY. So I say. It's really a great encouragement to me to find you
agree with me. For of course if nobody agrees with you, how are you to
know that youre not a fool?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Quite so.
JOHNNY. I wish youd talk to him about it. It's no use my saying
anything: I'm a child to him still: I have no influence. Besides, you
know how to handle men. See how you handled me when I was making
a fool of myself about Bunny!
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Not at all.
JOHNNY. Oh yes I was: I know I was. Well, if my blessed father had
come in he'd have told me to control myself. As if I was losing my
temper on purpose!
_Bentley returns, newly washed. He beams when he sees his father, and
comes affectionately behind him and pats him on the shoulders._
BENTLEY. Hel-lo, commander! have you come? Ive been making a
filthy silly ass of myself here. I'm awfully sorry, Johnny, old chap: I
beg your pardon. Why dont you kick me when I go on like that?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. As we came through Godalming I thought I
heard some yelling--

BENTLEY. I should think you did. Johnny was rather rough on me,
though. He told me nobody here liked me; and I was silly enough to
believe him.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. And all the women have been kissing you
and pitying you ever since to