Men Are Trouble | Page 3

the private investigator." I stood to show them out. "The mind reader's office is across the
street."
This time George didn't ask permission. My desktop chirped. I waved open a new icon. A
certified bank transfer in the amount of a thousand dollars dragged me back onto my
chair.
"A cordial inducement," said George. "With a like amount offered after the success of
your investigation."
I thought of a thousand dinners in restaurants with linen tablecloths. "Tell me already." A
thousand bottles of smoky scotch.
"This one draws attention to the hand of the unseen person," said the bot. "Seeren has the
brightest desire to meeting such person for fruitful business discussions."
The job smelled like the dumpster at Fran's Fish Fry. Precious little money changed
hands in the pretend economy. The bots kept everything running, but they did nothing to
create wealth. That was supposed to be up to us, I guess, only we'd been sort of
discouraged. In some parts of town, that kind of change could hire a Felony 1, with a

handful of Misdemeanors thrown in for good luck.
"That's more than I'm worth," I said. "A hundred times more. If Seeren expects me to
break the arm attached to that hand, it's talking to the wrong jane."
"Violence is to be deplored," said George. "However, Seeren tasks Fay to discretion
throughout. Never police, never news, never even rumor if possible."
"Oh, discretion." I accepted the transfer. "For two large, I can be as discreet as the
Queen's butler."
2
I could've taken a cab, but they're almost all driven by bots now, and bots keep nobody's
secrets. Besides, even though I had a thousand dollars in the bank, I thought I'd let it
settle in for a while. Make itself at home. So I bicycled over to 12th Avenue. I started
having doubts as I hit the 400 block. This part of the city had been kicked in the head and
left bleeding on the sidewalk. Dark bars leaned against pawnshops. Board-ups turned
their blank plywood faces to the street. There would be more bots than women in this
neighborhood and more rats than bots.
The Adagio Spa squatted at 465 12th Avenue. It was a brick building with a reinforced
luxar display window that was so scratched it looked like a thin slice of rainstorm. There
were dusty plants behind it. The second floor windows were bricked over. I chained my
bike to a dead car, set my sidekick to record and went in.
The rear wall of the little reception area was bright with pix of some Mediterranean
seaside town. A clump of bad pixels made the empty beach flicker. A bot stepped
through the door that led to the spa and took up a position at the front desk. "Good
afternoon, Madam," he said. "It's most gratifying to welcome you. This one is called ...
"I'm looking for Kate Vermeil." I don't waste time on chitchat with bots. "Is she in?"
"It's regrettable that she no longer takes work here."
"She worked here?" I said. "I was told she lived here."
"You was told wrong." A granny filled the door, and then hobbled through, leaning on a
metal cane. She was wearing a yellow flowered dress that was not quite as big as a circus
tent and over it a blue smock with Noreen embroidered over the left breast. Her face was
wide and pale as a hardboiled egg, her hair a ferment of tight gray curls. She had the
biggest hands I had ever seen. "I'll take care of this, Barry. Go see to Helen Ritzi. She
gets another needle at twelve, then turn down the heat to 101."
The bot bowed politely and left us.
"What's this about then?" The cane wobbled and she put a hand on the desk to steady
herself.

I dug the sidekick out of my slacks, opened the PI license folder and showed it to her. She
read it slowly, sniffed and handed it back. "Young fluffs working at play jobs. Do
something useful, why don't you?"
"Like what," I said. "Giving perms? Face peels?"
She was the woman of steel; sarcasm bounced off her. "If nobody does a real job, pretty
soon the damn bots will replace us all."
"Might be an improvement." It was something to say, but as soon as I said it I wished I
hadn't. My generation was doing better than the grannies ever had. Maybe someday our
kids wouldn't need bots to survive.
Our kids. I swallowed a mouthful of ashes and called the pix Seeren had given me onto
the sidekick's screen. "I'm looking for Kate Vermeil." I aimed it at her.
She peered at the pix and then at me. "You need a manicure."
"The hell I do."
"I