Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel | Page 8

it not that I might, by patiently submitting to the turnings and overturnings of his most holy hand, become fashioned to show forth his praise? But alas! where are the fruits? Is not the work rather marring as on the wheel; can I, in sincerity say, I am the clay, Thou art the potter? I feel weary of my own negligence; for it seems as if the day with me was advancing faster than the work, I fear lest I should be cast off for want of giving greater diligence to make my calling sure. O may he who is perfect in wisdom strengthen the feeble desire which remains, and melt my stubborn will into perfect obedience by the operation of his pure spirit.
In the next memoranda which we shall transcribe we see when and how his mind was imbued with the love of Scriptural inquiry and illustration. Two or three good books well read and digested in younger life often form the thinking habits of the man, and supply no small part of the substance, or at any rate the nucleus, of his knowledge. This shows the vast importance of a wise choice of authors, at the time when the mind is the most susceptible of impressions, and the most capable of appropriating the food which is presented to it. Those who knew John Yeardley will recognise the intimate connexion between these early studies and the character of his future life and ministry. If any should think his language on this or kindred subjects marked by excessive caution, they must bear in mind the comparative by unintellectual circle in which he moved.
I trust, he writes, under date of 4 mo. 28, a few of my leisure hours for two or three weeks past have been spent profitably in perusing some of A. Clarke's Notes on the Book of Genesis; and although I am fully aware that the greatest caution is necessary, when these learned men undertake to exercise their skill on the sacred text, yet I am of opinion, if used with prudence and a right spirit attended to, it may tend considerably to illustrate particular passages. I think this pious man has not only shown his profound knowledge of the learned languages, but some of his observations are so pertinent and so judiciously made, as may have a tendency to produce spiritual reflection in the mind of the reader.
5 mo. 24.--Having read with some attention Fleury's "Manners of the Israelites," by A. Clarke, I am convinced that even a slight knowledge of those ancient customs tends to facilitate the proper study of the sacred writings; for many of the metaphors so beautifully made use of by the prophets and apostles, and even our dear Redeemer himself, to convey a spiritual meaning, seem to have had an evident allusion to the antique manners and customs which I find explained in this little volume.
The commotions referred to in the reflections which follow, were no doubt the great European war which was then raging. Buonaparte, it may be remembered, was at that time making preparation for his Russian campaign, and a universal alarm prevailed as to the final result of his insatiable lust of conquest.
5 mo. 7.--In viewing the commotions of the times, it has induced me seriously to consider the great importance of procuring, as far as ability may be afforded, a free access to the never-failing source of our help; and in a little contemplating this subject I have been comforted in a hope that, if we only abide stedfast and immovable, He whom the waves of the sea obeyed will in his own time speak peace to the minds of his tossed ones, and a calm will ensue.
The perusal of Elizabeth Smith's "Fragments" occasions him to remark how profitable it is to read the writings of others; but he wisely adds:--
I am often desirous not to rest satisfied with a bare perusal of these, believing they are only advantageous to us so far as they stimulate to a closer attention to that inward gift, which alone can enable us to witness the same experience. It is often a query with me, how am I spending this precious time, which passes so swiftly away never to return? and, in order to answer this query aright, how desirable it is to dwell with thee, sweet solitude! to turn inward, to examine and correct the defects of our own disordered minds; how delightful it is to walk alone and contemplate the beautiful scenes of nature. Yet in these retired moments, when viewing the works of a divine hand springing up to answer the great end for which they were created, I am often deeply perplexed with a distressing fear lest I should not be found coming forward faithfully to answer the