Memoir and Diary of John Yeardley, Minister of the Gospel | Page 7

would be encouraged to come under the precious influence of that baptizing power which would cement and refresh our spirits together. O then, I firmly believe, our Heavenly Father would in an eminent manner condescend to crown our assemblies with the overshadowing of his love, and enable us not only to roll away the stone, but to draw living water as out of the wells of salvation.
17th.--"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me," was a language which secretly passed my mind in meeting this morning; and though inwardly poor as I am, yet I dare not but acknowledge it a privilege to be favored even with a good desire.
24th.--Was a little refreshed at our morning gathering, my spirit being exercised under a concern that I might not rest satisfied with anything short of living experience; and I felt comforted with a lively hope that He whom my soul loveth will not fail to manifest his divine regard to one who is sincerely desirous to become acquainted with his ways. O, how shall I render sufficient thankfulness for such a favor, thus to be made once more sweetly to partake of the brook by the way.
Thought the evening sitting rather dull, though the ministry of T. S. was lively, which is a confirming proof that however favored we may be at certain seasons, yet if at any time we suffer our attention to be diverted from the real object, it frustrates the design of Him who I believe intends that we should wait together to renew our strength.
In the Eleventh Month Henry Hull, from the United Slates, accompanied by John Hull of Uxbridge, visited Burton, and had good service their, both amongst Friends and with the public. They lodged at John Yeardley's, and, in describing their labors and the pleasure he derived from their society, he records his thankfulness at being placed in a situation in life such as afforded him the opportunity of entertaining the Lord's servants.
His disposition was lively and strongly inclined to humor, and he early felt the necessity of having this natural trait of character subjected to the rule of heavenly wisdom. Under date 27th of the Eleventh Month he says:--
I feel a little compunction for having these few days past given way too much to the lightness of my disposition, and not being sufficiently concerned to seek after that stability and serious reflection which never fails to improve the mind.
On the 26th of the Twelfth Month he records a state of spiritual poverty.
Such, he says, has been the instability of my mind, that my "Beloved is unto me as a fountain sealed." But, he adds, I feel a little tendered this evening, on reading over a few comfortable expressions in a letter from my friend, Joseph Wood.
This condition of mind continued for some months, when he thus breaks forth:--
3 mo. 8, 1812.--How pleasant it is once more to be favored with a few drops of living water from the springs of that well which my soul has had for many weeks past to languish after, and which I trust has been wisely withheld in order to show me that, although it is our indispensable duty to persevere in digging for it, yet it is only in His own time that we are permitted to drink thereof.
His just appreciation of the nature of meetings held for the discipline of the Church, and of the spirit in which they are to be conducted, is shown in an early part of the Diary.
3 mo. 15.--Was at our Preparative Meeting. The queries having to be answered, I was led into deep thoughtfulness respecting the same, and inwardly solicited that the Father of mercies would lend his divine aid, in the performance of such important duties; which I have reason to believe was in some measure answered, for they were gone through with a degree of ease and comfort to my own mind. May I ever keep in remembrance the testimonies of his love which are so often manifested!
8 mo. 17.--Meeting for discipline at Burton. The forepart was conducted, I think, to edification; but in the latter, one subject occupied much time unnecessarily, and did not conclude to general satisfaction. When some whose spirits are not well seasoned, speak to circumstances which they may not have sufficiently considered, it sometimes does more harm than they may at first apprehend.
The entries in the Diary at this time shew many alternations of discouragement and comfort, and of that deep searching of his own heart from which he seldom shrank, and which is the only way to the liberty and peace of the soul.
4 mo. 12.--In contemplating the gracious dealings of the Almighty with me from time to time, I have been led to query, Is