Love and Intrigue | Page 7

Worm! If you dare but to whisper a syllable----
WORM (laughs). Then your excellency will no doubt expose my
forgeries!
[Exit.
PRESIDENT. Yes, yes, you are safe enough! I hold you in the fetters
of your own knavery, like a trout on the hook!
Enter SERVANT.
SERVANT. Marshal Kalb----
PRESIDENT. The very man I wished to see. Introduce him.

[Exit SERVANT.

SCENE VI.
MARSHAL KALB, in a rich but tasteless court-dress, with
Chamberlain's keys, two watches, sword, three-cornered hat, and hair
dressed a la Herisson. He bustles up to the PRESIDENT, and diffuses a
strong scent of musk through the whole theatre--PRESIDENT.
MARSHAL. Ah! good morning, my dear baron! Quite delighted to see
you again--pray forgive my not having paid my respects to you at an
earlier hour--the most pressing business--the duke's bill of
fare--invitation cards--arrangements for the sledge party
to-day--ah!--besides it was necessary for me to be at the levee, to
inform his highness of the state of the weather.
PRESIDENT. True, marshal! Such weighty concerns were not to be
neglected!
MARSHAL. Then a rascally tailor, too, kept me waiting for him!
PRESIDENT. And yet ready to the moment?
MARSHAL. Nor is that all! One misfortune follows at the heels of the
other to-day! Only hear me!
PRESIDENT (absent). Can it be possible?
MARSHAL. Just listen! Scarce had I quitted my carriage, when the
horses became restive, and began to plunge and rear--only
imagine!--splashed my breeches all over with mud! What was to be
done? Fancy, my dear baron, just fancy yourself for a moment in my
predicament! There I stood! the hour was late! a day's journey to
return--yet to appear before his highness in this--good heavens! What
did I bethink me of? I pretended to faint! They bundle me into my
carriage! I drive home like mad-- change my dress--hasten back--and
only think!--in spite of all this I was the first person in the antechamber!

What say you to that?
PRESIDENT. A most admirable impromptu of mortal wit--but tell me,
Kalb, did you speak to the duke?
MARSHAL (importantly). Full twenty minutes and a half.
PRESIDENT. Indeed? Then doubtless you have important news to
impart to me?
MARSHAL (seriously, after a pause of reflection). His highness wears
a Merde d'Oye beaver to-day.
PRESIDENT. God bless me!--and yet, marshal, I have even greater
news to tell you. Lady Milford will soon become my daughter-in-law.
That, I think will be new to you?
MARSHAL. Is it possible! And is it already agreed upon?
PRESIDENT. It is settled, marshal--and you would oblige me by
forthwith waiting upon her ladyship, and preparing her to receive
Ferdinand's visit. You have full liberty, also, to circulate the news of
my son's approaching nuptials.
MARSHAL. My dear friend! With consummate pleasure! What can I
desire more? I fly to the baroness this moment. Adieu! (Embracing
him.) In less than three-quarters of an hour it shall be known
throughout the town. [Skips off.
PRESIDENT (smiling contemptuously). How can people say that such
creatures are of no use in the world? Now, then, Master Ferdinand must
either consent or give the whole town the lie. (Rings--WORM enters.)
Send my son hither. (WORM retires; the PRESIDENT walks up and
down, full of thought.)

SCENE VII.

PRESIDENT--FERDINAND.
FERDINAND. In obedience to your commands, sir----
PRESIDENT. Ay, if I desire the presence of my son, I must command
it-- Ferdinand, I have observed you for some time past, and find no
longer that open vivacity of youth which once so delighted me. An
unusual sorrow broods upon your features; you shun your father; you
shun society. For shame, Ferdinand! At your age a thousand
irregularities are easier forgiven than one instant of idle melancholy.
Leave this to me, my son! Leave the care of your future happiness to
my direction, and study only to co-operate with my designs--come,
Ferdinand, embrace me!
FERDINAND. You are most gracious to-day, father!
PRESIDENT. "To-day," you rogue? and your "to-day" with such a
vinegar look? (Seriously.) Ferdinand! For whose sake have I trod that
dangerous path which leads to the affections of the prince? For whose
sake have I forever destroyed my peace with Heaven and my
conscience? Hear me, Ferdinand--I am speaking to my son. For whom
have I paved the way by the removal of my predecessor? a deed which
the more deeply gores my inward feelings the more carefully I conceal
the dagger from the world! Tell me, Ferdinand, for whose sake have I
done all this?
FERDINAND (recoiling with horror). Surely not for mine, father, not
for mine? Surely not on me can fall the bloody reflection of this murder?
By my Almighty Maker, it were better never to have been born than to
be the pretext for such a crime!
PRESIDENT. What sayest thou? How? But I will attribute these