Love and Intrigue | Page 6

eye
upon the jade yourself--I see that. But listen, Worm. That my son has a
passion for the fair sex gives me hope that he will find favor with the
ladies. He may make his way at court. The girl is handsome, you say; I
am glad to think my son has taste. Can he deceive the silly wench by
holding out honorable intentions--still better; it will show that he is
shrewd enough to play the hypocrite when it serves his purpose. He
may become prime minister--if he accomplishes his purpose!
Admirable! that will prove to me that fortune favors him. Should the
farce end with a chubby grandchild--incomparable! I will drink an extra
bottle of Malaga to the prospects of my pedigree, and cheerfully pay
the wench's lying-in expenses.
WORM. All I wish is that your excellency may not have to drink that
bottle to drown your sorrow.
PRESIDENT (sternly). Worm! remember that what I once believe, I
believe obstinately--that I am furious when angered. I am willing to
pass over as a joke this attempt to stir my blood. That you are desirous
of getting rid of your rival, I can very well comprehend, and that,
because you might have some difficulty in supplanting the son, you
endeavor to make a cat's-paw of the father, I can also understand--I am
even delighted to find that you are master of such excellent
qualifications in the way of roguery. Only, friend Worm, pray don't
make me, too, the butt of your knavery. Understand me, have a care
that your cunning trench not upon my plans!
WORM. Pardon me, your excellency! If even--as you suspect--jealousy
is concerned, it is only with the eye, and not with the tongue.
PRESIDENT. It would be better to dispense with it altogether. What
can it matter to you, simpleton, whether you get your coin fresh from

the mint, or it comes through a banker? Console yourself with the
example of our nobility. Whether known to the bridegroom or not, I
can assure you that, amongst us of rank, scarcely a marriage takes place
but what at least half a dozen of the guests--or the footmen--can state
the geometrical area of the bridegroom's paradise.
WORM (bowing). My lord! Upon this head I confess myself a
plebeian.
PRESIDENT. And, besides, you may soon have the satisfaction of
turning the laugh most handsomely against your rival. At this very
moment it is under consideration in the cabinet, that, upon the arrival of
the new duchess, Lady Milford shall apparently be discarded, and, to
complete the deception, form an alliance. You know, Worm, how
greatly my influence depends upon this lady--how my mightiest
prospects hang upon the passions of the prince. The duke is now
seeking a partner for Lady Milford. Some one else may step
in--conclude the bargain for her ladyship, win the confidence of the
prince, and make himself indispensable, to my cost. Now, to retain the
prince in the meshes of my family, I have resolved that my Ferdinand
shall marry Lady Milford. Is that clear to you?
WORM. Quite dazzling! Your excellency has at least convinced me
that, compared with the president, the father is but a novice. Should the
major prove as obedient a son as you show yourself a tender father,
your demand may chance to be returned with a protest.
PRESIDENT. Fortunately I have never yet had to fear opposition to my
will when once I have pronounced, "It shall be so!" But now, Worm,
that brings us back to our former subject! I will propose Lady Milford
to my son this very day. The face which he puts upon it shall either
confirm your suspicions or entirely confute them.
WORM. Pardon me, my lord! The sullen face which he most assuredly
will put upon it may be placed equally to the account of the bride you
offer to him as of her from whom you wish to separate him. I would
beg of you a more positive test! Propose to him some perfectly
unexceptionable woman. Then, if he consents, let Secretary Worm

break stones on the highway for the next three years.
PRESIDENT (biting his lips). The devil!
WORM. Such is the case, you may rest assured! The mother--stupidity
itself--has, in her simplicity, betrayed all to me.
PRESIDENT (pacing the room, and trying to repress his rage). Good!
this very morning, then!
WORM. Yet, let me entreat your excellency not to forget that the
major-- is my master's son----
PRESIDENT. No harm shall come to him, Worm.
WORM. And that my service in ridding you of an unwelcome
daughter-in-law----
PRESIDENT. Should be rewarded by me helping you to a wife? That
too, Worm!
WORM (bowing with delight). Eternally your lordship's slave. (Going.)
PRESIDENT (threatening him). As to what I have confided to you,