Love Conquers All | Page 6

over his shoulder. "How Firm a Foundation"
didn't lend itself very well to drumming; so she had a little patrol that
she worked up all by herself, beginning soft, like a drum corps in the
distance, and getting louder and louder, finally dying away again so
that you could barely near it. It was wonderful how she could do it--and
still go on living.
Those who feel this way about talking while others are playing bridge
have a great advantage over my cousin and her class if they can play
the piano. They play ever so softly, in order not to disturb, but
somehow or other you just know that they are there, and that the next to
last note in the coda is going to be very sour.
But, of course, the piano work does not technically come under the
head of watching, although when there are two watchers to a table, one
may go over to the piano while she is dummy.
But your real watcher will allow nothing to interfere with his
conscientious following of the game, and it is for real watchers only
that these suggestions have been formulated. The minute you get out of
the class of those who have the best interests of the game at heart, you
become involved in dilettantism and amateurishness, and the whole
sport of bridge-watching falls into disrepute.
The only trouble with the game as it now stands is the risk of personal
injury. This can be eliminated by the watcher insisting on each player
being frisked for weapons before the game begins and cultivating a
good serviceable defense against ordinary forms of fistic attack.

V
A CHRISTMAS SPECTACLE
For Use in Christmas Eve Entertainments in the Vestry At the opening
of the entertainment the Superintendent will step into the footlights,
recover his balance apologetically, and say:
"Boys and girls of the Intermediate Department, parents and friends: I
suppose you all know why we are here tonight. (At this point the
audience will titter apprehensively). Mrs. Drury and her class of little
girls have been working very hard to make this entertainment a success,
and I am sure that everyone here to-night is going to have what I
overheard one of my boys the other day calling 'some good time.'
(Indulgent laughter from the little boys). And may I add before the
curtain goes up that immediately after the entertainment we want you
all to file out into the Christian Endeavor room, where there will be a
Christmas tree, 'with all the fixin's,' as the boys say." (Shrill whistling
from the little boys and immoderate applause from everyone).
There will then be a wait of twenty-five minutes, while sounds of
hammering and dropping may be heard from behind the curtains. The
Boys' Club orchestra will render the "Poet and Peasant Overture" four
times in succession, each time differently.
At last one side of the curtains will be drawn back; the other will catch
on something and have to be released by hand; someone will whisper
loudly, "Put out the lights," following which the entire house will be
plunged into darkness. Amid catcalls from the little boys, the footlights
will at last go on, disclosing:
The windows in the rear of the vestry rather ineffectively concealed by
a group of small fir trees on standards, one of which has already fallen
over, leaving exposed a corner of the map of Palestine and the list of
gold-star classes for November. In the center of the stage is a larger tree,
undecorated, while at the extreme left, invisible to everyone in the

audience except those sitting at the extreme right, is an imitation
fireplace, leaning against the wall.
Twenty-five seconds too early little Flora Rochester will prance out
from the wings, uttering the first shrill notes of a song, and will have to
be grabbed by eager hands and pulled back. Twenty-four seconds later
the piano will begin "The Return of the Reindeer" with a powerful
accent on the first note of each bar, and Flora Rochester, Lillian
McNulty, Gertrude Hamingham and Martha Wrist will swirl on,
dressed in white, and advance heavily into the footlights, which will go
out.
There will then be an interlude while Mr. Neff, the sexton, adjusts the
connection, during which the four little girls stand undecided whether
to brave it out or cry. As a compromise they giggle and are herded back
into the wings by Mrs. Drury, amid applause. When the lights go on
again, the applause becomes deafening, and as Mr. Neff walks
triumphantly away, the little boys in the audience will whistle: "There
she goes, there she goes, all dressed up in her Sunday clothes!"
"The Return of the Reindeer" will be started again and the show-girls
will reappear, this time more gingerly and somewhat