Life in the Grey Nunnery at Montreal | Page 5

would be a secure retreat, for
there science, religion, and philanthropy, PROFESSEDLY, go hand in
hand. Like many other deluded parents, he thought that "Holiness to the
Lord" was inscribed upon those walls, and that nothing which could
pervert or defile the youthful mind, was permitted to enter there. With
these views and feelings, he was undoubtedly sincere when he told me,
"I would have a good home, and the nuns would take better care of me
than he could." Rash his decision certainly was, cruel it proved to be;
but I shall ever give him credit for good intentions.
At length the bell rang, and all the girls immediately left their beds, and
placed themselves upon their knees. I followed their example, but I had
scarcely time to kneel by my bed, when the Superior came into the
room with a light in her hand, and attended by a priest. He came to me,
opened a book, and told me to cross myself. This ceremony he
instructed me to perform in the following manner: the right hand is
placed upon the forehead, and drawn down to the breast; then across
the breast from left to right. The Superior then told me to say the prayer
called "Hail Mary!" I attempted to do so, but failed, for, though I had
often repeated it after my father, I could not say it correctly alone. She
then bade me join my hands, and repeat it after her. "Hail Mary! Full of

grace! The Lord be with thee! Blessed art thou among women! Blessed
is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus! Mother of God! Pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death, Amen."
"Now," said the Superior, as I rose from my knees, "you must learn
every word of that prayer before to-morrow night, or go without your
supper." I tried my best to remember it, but with so little instruction, for
she repeated it to me but once, I found it quite impossible the next night
to say it correctly. Of course, I was compelled to go without my supper.
This may seem a light punishment to those who have enough to
eat--who sit down to a full table, and satisfy their appetite three times
per day, but to a nun, who is allowed only enough to sustain life, it is
quite a different thing. And especially to a child, this mode of
punishment is more severe, and harder to bear than almost any other. I
thought I would take good care not to be punished in that way again;
but I little knew what was before me.
Before the Superior left us she assisted me into bed, and bade me be
very still until the second bell in the morning. Then, I must rise and
dress as quickly as possible, and go to her room. Quietness, she
enjoined upon me as a virtue, while the least noise, or disturbance of
any kind, would be punished as a crime. She said I must walk very
softly indeed along the halls, and close the doors so carefully that not a
sound could be heard. After giving me these first instructions in
convent life, she left me, and I was allowed to sleep the rest of the
night.
The next morning, I awoke at the ringing of the first bell, but I did not
dare to stir until the second bell, when the other little girls arose in
great haste. I then dressed as quickly as possible, but not a word was
spoken --not a thought, and scarcely a look exchanged. I was truly
"alone amid a crowd," and I felt the utter loneliness of my situation
most keenly. Yet I saw very clearly that there was but one course for
me to pursue, and that was, to obey in all things; to have no will of my
own, and thus, if possible, escape punishment. But it was hard, very
hard for me to bring my mind to this. I had been the idolized child of
affection too long to submit readily and patiently to the privations I was
now forced to endure. Hitherto my will had been law. I had naturally an
imperious, violent temper, which I had never been taught to govern.
Instead of this, my appetites were pampered, my passions indulged, and

every desire gratified as far as possible. Until that last sad parting, I
hardly knew what it was to have a request refused; and now, to
experience such a change--such a sudden transition from the most
liberal indulgence to the most cruel and rigorous self-denial--Oh, it was
a severe trial to my independent spirit to submit to it. Yet, submit I
must, for I had learned, even then, that my newly appointed guardians
were not to be