Letters to His Son 1750 | Page 7

absolute necessity of forming my
manners upon those of the best companies, that I determined to
persevere and suffer anything, or everything, rather than not compass
that point. Insensibly it grew easier to me; and I began not to bow so
ridiculously low, and to answer questions without great hesitation or
stammering: if, now and then, some charitable people, seeing my
embarrassment, and being 'desoevre' themselves, came and spoke to me,
I considered them as angels sent to comfort me, and that gave me a
little courage. I got more soon afterward, and was intrepid enough to go
up to a fine woman, and tell her that I thought it a warm day; she
answered me, very civilly, that she thought so too; upon which the
conversation ceased, on my part, for some time, till she, good-naturedly
resuming it, spoke to me thus: "I see your embarrassment, and I am
sure that the few words you said to me cost you a great deal; but do not
be discouraged for that reason, and avoid good company. We see that
you desire to please, and that is the main point; you want only the
manner, and you think that you want it still more than you do. You
must go through your noviciate before you can profess good- breeding:
and, if you will be my novice, I will present you my acquaintance as
such."
You will easily imagine how much this speech pleased me, and how

awkwardly I answered it; I hemmed once or twice (for it gave me a bur
in my throat) before I could tell her that I was very much obliged to her;
that it was true, that I had a great deal of reason to distrust my own
behavior, not being used to fine company; and that I should be proud of
being her novice, and receiving her instructions.
As soon as I had fumbled out this answer, she called up three or four
people to her, and said: Savez-vous (for she was a foreigner, and I was
abroad) que j'ai entrepris ce jeune homme, et qu'il le faut rassurer? Pour
moi, je crois en avoir fait---- [Do you know that I have undertaken this
young man, and he must be encouraged? As for me, I think I have
made a conquest of him; for he just now ventured to tell me, although
tremblingly, that it is warm. You will assist me in polishing him. He
must necessarily have a passion for somebody; if he does not think me
worthy of being the object, he will seek out some other. However, my
novice, do not disgrace yourself by frequenting opera girls and
actresses; who will not require of you sentiments and politeness, but
will be your ruin in every respect. I repeat it to you, my, friend, if you
should get into low, mean company, you will be undone. Those
creatures will destroy your fortune and your health, corrupt your morals,
and you will never acquire the style of good company.]
The company laughed at this lecture, and I was stunned with it. I did
not know whether she was serious or in jest. By turns I was pleased,
ashamed, encouraged, and dejected. But when I found afterward, that
both she, and those to whom she had presented me, countenanced and
protected me in company, I gradually got more assurance, and began
not to be ashamed of endeavoring to be civil. I copied the best masters,
at first servilely, afterward more freely, and at last I joined habit and
invention.
All this will happen to you, if you persevere in the desire of pleasing
and shining as a man of the world; that part of your character is the
only one about which I have at present the least doubt. I cannot
entertain the least suspicion of your moral character; your learned
character is out of question. Your polite character is now the only
remaining object that gives me the least anxiety; and you are now in the
right way of finishing it. Your constant collision with good company
will, of course, smooth and polish you. I could wish that you would say,
to the five or six men or women with whom you are the most

acquainted, that you are sensible that, from youth and inexperience, you
must make many mistakes in good-breeding; that you beg of them to
correct you, without reserve, wherever they see you fail; and that you
shall take such admonition as the strongest proofs of their friendship.
Such a confession and application will be very engaging to those to
whom you make them. They will tell others of them, who will be
pleased with that disposition, and, in a friendly manner, tell you of any
little slip or error. The Duke de