Lazy Thoughts of a Lazy Girl | Page 2

Some get married at once, some wait a long time, and some do not
marry at all. These last are, I think, generally the happiest, for this
so-called love lasts for only a very short time, and neither husband nor
wife are long before they console themselves with someone else's
affection to make up for what is wanting on the part of the other.
Of course I am speaking generally. As far as I can see, the majority act
thus, though I am glad to say that many and various are the exceptions.
It was only the other day I came across our washerwoman and asked
her how she and her husband got on together. He used to be a drunkard,
and used her cruelly, but two years ago he took the pledge, and, what is
more, he kept it. "Lor', mum," she exclaimed fervently, "we draws
nearer every day!" I am afraid not many husbands and wives could say
the same.
People are so anxious to marry too. I cannot understand them, men
especially. They have their clubs, they are entirely independent, and
can go home as late as they please without being questioned as to their

whereabouts. And yet, as soon as they can, they saddle themselves with
a wife, who requires at least half the money--they have never found
sufficient for themselves alone--besides a great deal of looking after!
Women, on the contrary, are different. They have to make some
provision for the future, so to speak. How do you like it, oh men! the
idea that you, with your handsome personages and fascinating ways,
are used only as a kind of insurance office? This is the case very often,
however, though you may not know it!
Yet others pursue the god Hymen merely for the sake of being married.
As soon as they leave the school-room, sometimes before, they begin
their search for a husband, and look out for him in the person of every
man they meet. No matter who it is so long as they are married before
So-and-So, and can triumph over all their friends.
It must be said for men that they are falling off in the marrying line.
This is not nearly such a proposing generation as the last. Then they
married much younger and seemed to propose after a few days'
acquaintance. No, this is a more cautious age altogether. Men look
round carefully before they make their choice. They sample it well,
they watch it in the home circle, they watch it abroad, they watch it
with other men, and finally come to the conclusion that it is worthy to
be allied to their noble selves, or they don't!
Another thing. Men of the present day are so direfully afraid of a
refusal! So fearful are they, that rather than risk one, they give up many
chances of happiness.
They expect that a girl should show her feeling toward them, before
they come to the point. But you must remember that girls also have to
be cautious, and a few--I acknowledge it is only a few--would rather
die than show they cared for a man who after all might only "love and
ride away."
Not that I altogether blame man in this respect. I always admire pride,
and am afraid I should not care for a refusal myself. I am intolerant of it
even in the smallest matters!

It is curious how men run in grooves. The same style of man nearly
always marries the opposite type of girl. I mean that the intellectual, the
clever, invariably choose the insipid brainless girl. Pretty, she may be,
but it is in a doll-like way, with not a thought above her household.
You would have imagined that such men would require some
help-meet, in the fullest sense of the word; with a brain almost as quick
as their own. But such a choice occurs very seldom.
Again, why is it that little men always select the very tallest women
they can find? You would think that a man would hesitate to show off
his meagre inches to such bad advantage. But these pigmies appear to
enjoy the contrast. It is evidently quantity they admire, not quality.
I daresay a good deal of what I have written sounds very cynical, but
perhaps my experience has been unfortunate, therefore you must
forgive me: certainly it is sometimes very difficult to distinguish
between the real thing and its successful counterpart.
Parents are greatly at fault in the issues of the matrimonial market.
After all these centuries of experience you would give them credit for
more tact than they possess. Any match they do not desire, they oppose
at once, and thereby set alight all the contradictory elements in your
nature. If Laban had been less obstinate,