Lazy Thoughts of a Lazy Girl
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Title: Lazy Thoughts of a Lazy Girl Sister of that "Idle Fellow."
Author: Jenny Wren
Release Date: August 10, 2005 [EBook #16507]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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THOUGHTS OF A LAZY GIRL ***
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LAZY THOUGHTS OF A LAZY GIRL.
(Sister of that "IDLE FELLOW.")
BY
JENNY WREN.
NEW YORK HURST AND COMPANY PUBLISHERS
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER.
I. ON LOVE.
II. ON BILLS.
III. ON POLITICS.
IV. ON AFTERNOON TEA.
V. ON DRESS.
VI. ON CHRISTMAS.
VII. ON THE COUNTRY.
VIII. ON TOWN.
IX. ON CHILDREN AND DOGS.
X. ON CONCERTS.
XI. ON DANCING.
XII. ON WATERING PLACES.
CHAPTER I.
ON LOVE.
"Love is of man's life a thing apart; 'Tis woman's whole existence."
So sings the poet, and so agrees the world. Humiliating as it is to make
the confession, it is undeniably true. "Men and Dress are all women
think about," cry the lords of creation in their unbounded vanity. And
again, we must submit--and agree--to the truth of the accusation; at any
rate, in nine cases out of ten. Fortunately I am a tenth case; at least, I
consider myself so. I don't dispute the "dress" imputation. I am very
fond of dress. Nearly as fond of it as the twenty-year old youth, and
saying that, I allow a good deal. But very few of my thoughts are given
to the creature "man"! I do not think him worth it. As my old nurse
used to say, "I never 'ad no opinion of the sex!"
Do not conclude, however, that because of my statement that I am a
disappointed, soured old maid, for I am nothing of the sort. I am on the
right side of twenty-five, and I have never been crossed in love; indeed,
I have never even experienced the tender passion, and only write from
my observations of other people; thus taking a perfectly neutral ground
in speaking of it at all.
One never hears that Adam fell in love with Eve, or that Eve was
passionately attached to Adam. But then, poor things, they had so little
choice--it was either that or nothing. Besides, there was no opposition
to the match, so it was bound to be rather a tame affair. For my part, I
pity Eve, for Adam was, I think, the very meanest of men. When he
was turned out of the garden, what a wretch he must have felt himself!
and how he must have taunted his poor wife! Weak men are always
bullies.
But "_revenons à nos moutons_," I am wondering who was the first
person to fall in love! Cain might have done so with his mysterious
wife; history does not say. But certainly there is always some attraction
in mystery, so such a thing is possible. I wonder whence that
extraordinary woman sprang!
Neither do we hear much of Noah's domestic experiences, but I should
conclude on the whole that they were not happy. No man could be
endured for forty days shut up in the house, no business to go to,
nothing to do, always hanging about, his idle hands at some mischief or
other, and last, but not least, a diabolical temper, displayed at every
turn! Why, I cannot endure one for a week! My only wonder is that the
female population of the Ark did not rise up in a body and consign their
lords and masters to the floods.
Poor men, they deserve a little of our pity too, perhaps; for if Mrs.
Noah and her daughters-in-law at all resembled their effigies in the
Noah's Arks of the present day, they were women to be avoided, I
think.
So that, after all, it must have been Jacob who set such a very foolish
example; because we could not count Isaac, his being so extraordinary
and isolated a case, when he fell in love with his own wife!
Therefore I think we owe Jacob a great many grudges. He was the
inventor of the tender passion, and since his time people have begun to
follow his example long before they come to years of discretion, simply
because their parents did so before them, and they think they are not
grown up, that they are not men, unless they have some love affair on
hand.
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