Laughable Lyrics | Page 5

and loops, and lace,?So that nobody ever could see the face
Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
II.
The Quangle Wangle said
To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,?"Jam, and jelly, and bread
Are the best of food for me!?But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree?The plainer than ever it seems to me?That very few people come this way?And that life on the whole is far from gay!"
Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.
III.
But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
Mr. and Mrs. Canary;?And they said, "Did ever you see
Any spot so charmingly airy??May we build a nest on your lovely Hat??Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!?O please let us come and build a nest?Of whatever material suits you best,
Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
IV.
And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;?The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
The Frog and the Fimble Fowl?(The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);?And all of them said, "We humbly beg?We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,--?Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
V.
And the Golden Grouse came there,
And the Pobble who has no toes,?And the small Olympian bear,
And the Dong with a luminous nose.?And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,?And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,?And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,--?All came and built on the lovely Hat?Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
VI.
And the Quangle Wangle said
To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,?"When all these creatures move
What a wonderful noise there'll be!"?And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon?They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,?On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,?And all were as happy as happy could be,?With the Quangle Wangle Quee.
THE CUMMERBUND.?An Indian Poem.
I.
She sate upon her Dobie,
To watch the Evening Star,?And all the Punkahs, as they passed,
Cried, "My! how fair you are!"?Around her bower, with quivering leaves,
The tall Kamsamahs grew,?And Kitmutgars in wild festoons
Hung down from Tchokis blue.
II.
Below her home the river rolled
With soft meloobious sound,?Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,
In myriads circling round.?Above, on tallest trees remote
Green Ayahs perched alone,?And all night long the Mussak moan'd
Its melancholy tone.
III.
And where the purple Nullahs threw
Their branches far and wide,?And silvery Goreewallahs flew
In silence, side by side,?The little Bheesties' twittering cry
Rose on the flagrant air,?And oft the angry Jampan howled
Deep in his hateful lair.
IV.
She sate upon her Dobie,
She heard the Nimmak hum,?When all at once a cry arose,
"The Cummerbund is come!"?In vain she fled: with open jaws
The angry monster followed,?And so (before assistance came)
That Lady Fair was swollowed.
V.
They sought in vain for even a bone
Respectfully to bury;?They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
(And Echo answered, "Very.")?They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
Where last her form was seen,?And underneath they wrote these words,
In yellow, blue, and green:?"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
Nor sit out late at night,?Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
And swollow you outright."
NOTE.--First published in Times of India, Bombay, July, 1874.
THE AKOND OF SWAT.
Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT,
The Akond of Swat?

Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT,
The Akond of Swat?

Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,?And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat??Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT,
The Akond of Swat?
When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT,