Laughable Lyrics | Page 4

crafty Mermaids stole them away,?Nobody knew; and nobody knows?How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
VI.
The Pobble who has no toes
Was placed in a friendly Bark,?And they rowed him back, and carried him up
To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.?And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,?Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;?And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,?That Pobbles are happier without their toes."
THE NEW VESTMENTS.
There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,?Who invented a purely original dress;?And when it was perfectly made and complete,?He opened the door and walked into the street.
By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,?In the middle of which he inserted his head;?His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,?The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;?His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;?His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;?His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;?His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;?His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,?And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;?And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,?A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;?And from every long street and dark lane in the town?Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.?Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;?Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,?And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;?An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore up his?Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;?And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,?Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.?He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,?For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:?They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;?They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; And now from the housetops with screechings descend?Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,?When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;?They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,?And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;?They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--?Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,?"I will not wear a similar dress any more,?Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
I.
Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
Climbed to the top of a wall.?And they sate to watch the sunset sky,?And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,?And the Biscuit Buffalo call.?They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,?And both were as happy as happy could be,
Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--?"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!?It has just come into my head,?Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
II.
"Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
Just like pieces of stone,?On to the thorns, or into the moat,?What would become of your new green coat??And might you not break a bone??It never occurred to me before,?That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"
And Mrs. Discobbolos said,?"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!?What put it into your head?To climb up this wall, my own
Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
III.
Mr. Discobbolos answered,
"At first it gave me pain,?And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink?When your exclamation made me think?We might never get down again!?But now I believe it is wiser far?To remain for ever just where we are."
And Mr. Discobbolos said,?"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!?It has just come into my head?We shall never go down again,
Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
IV.
So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
Stood up and began to sing,--?"Far away from hurry and strife?Here we will pass the rest of life,?Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!?We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,?No tables nor carpets nor household cares;
From worry of life we've fled;
Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
There is no more trouble ahead,
Sorrow or any such thing,
For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"

THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.
[Illustration]
I.
On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,?But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat.?For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,?With ribbons and bibbons on every side,?And bells, and buttons,