Kamasutra | Page 6

upstairs I’d been thinking, ‘tell her, tell her you’re a
virgin.’ But how could I? I just knew she thought I wanted to have sex. I was
thinking, ‘I don’t want it like this, what about protection and that?’
It was awful, looking back, but I did it. I fumbled around and we were hardly
talking so eventually, after a bit of wrestling I got it in and it lasted about 10
seconds. I just got dressed and left. I kept thinking, ‘well I’ve done it but what
could it have been like?’"
I was round at Terry’s…

AFTER YOU HAVE HAD
20
AFTER YOU HAVE HAD
SOMETHING SPECIAL, OR
SOMETHING TO REGRET?
It was so special. We, well my girlfriend
really, planned it. We picked a day almost
and I bought some condoms and then we
didn’ t have to worr y about that because
I tried them out before. It was short but
amazing. I felt so much love after wards.
But if it wasn’t planned or was something
you felt pressured to do, then you might
feel bad or regret it happened. Your
expectations will affect your feelings
too. It will also depend on whether you
were able to use contraception properly.
Whatever your experience, things can
change. Talking about it can usually
help you get over any embarrassment or
worries. You might feel your relationship
has reached a new and special intimacy.
If you have a bad experience or it
changes your mind about having a
relationship with the person you had
sex with, it doesn’t set a pattern forever.
You don’t have to have sex again with
them, or with someone else. If you
didn’t use contraception you don’t have
to go on not using it in the future.
WORRIED ABOUT
PREGNANCY?
If you didn’t use contraceptives or you
think they didn’t work properly, you
might be worried about pregnancy or
becoming a parent.
A girl can get emergency contraception
(sometimes called the morning after pill)
up to seventy hours after sex.
If she can’t get emergency contraception,
or does not want to use it, there are still
things a doctor can do to help. So it is
important to see a doctor, or go to a clinic,
or talk to an adult as soon as possible.
The first sign of pregnancy is usually
that a girl misses her period. But, if a
girl is worried that she might be pregnant
this can delay her period. This means it
is important to have a pregnancy test.
You can buy testing kits from chemists
but these are expensive and you still
have to see a doctor to be absolutely
sure whether you are pregnant or not.

21
I was worried because we didn’t
use any thing. I didn’t want to
admit I wanted to do it so I
wasn’t prepared . It was a few
weeks later that I thought I was
pregnant because I missed my
period . I talked to a friend and
she encouraged me to go [to the
family planning clinic]. It was
open one evening a week only for
young people. They gave me a
test and talked to me about my
feelings and that and explained
to me how I could bring up
contraception with my boy friend .
I wasn’t pregnant and didn’t
take the chance again .
If you think you or your partner might
be pregnant you will probably be anxious
about what to do. You might be worried
about how people in your family will react.
They might be angry at first, or find it
hard to believe, but they might be able
to help you consider what to do. Some
people decide to have a baby if they are
pregnant and others decide to have an
abortion. If you really can’t talk to aparent you might be able to get adult
advice from a youth worker or an adult in
school. See the ‘HELP & ADVICE’ section
for organisations that can provide help
and support.
I freaked out when she told me
we were going to have a baby. I
kept thinking of me as a father.
Like a boy having a kid. She
was dead against telling anyone
but I kept saying we’d do it
together and sort things out.
Inside I was excited and scared
at the same time. We told her
mum first. She was mad but then
really practical about it. She
went through the options and
stood by us from the beginning.
I think it was right to tell her
because it affected her life too.
!
SEX SEX

22
WORRIED ABOUT A
SEXUALLYTRANSMITTED
INFECTION?
If you didn’t use a condom, or the condom
broke, then you may be worried about
having a sexually transmitted
infection.
You need to visit a doctor or clinic
where
you will be treated in confidence. This
means they won’t tell your parents or
anyone else about you. But, if you prefer,
you can visit a GUM clinic (Genito-
Urinary Medicine clinic). These clinics
only deal with sexual matters and are
completely confidential. They are usually
listed under ‘GUM clinic’ in the phone book.
I found out about the clinic through
the school nurse who has a leaf let
with local clinics in it. I think she
probably guessed what I wanted it for
but never said anything. I got thrush
actually, but I didn’t know it wasn’t
something more serious. The clinic
were brilliant. It was a bit embarrassing,
of course, but they just treated me
like I was no one special. But