Japhet, in Search of a Father | Page 4

his legs. Our windows suffered occasionally; but whether
it were broken heads, or broken limbs, or broken windows, they were
well paid for. Every one suffered but Mr Phineas Cophagus, who never
suffered a patient to escape him. The shop had the usual allowance of
green, yellow, and blue bottles; and in hot weather, from our vicinity,
we were visited by no small proportion of bluebottle flies. We had a
white horse in one window, and a brown horse in the other, to
announce to the drovers that we supplied horse-medicines. And we had
all the patent medicines in the known world, even to the "all-sufficient
medicine for mankind" of Mr Enouy; having which, I wondered, on my
first arrival, why we troubled ourselves about any others. The shop was
large, and at the back part there was a most capacious iron mortar, with
a pestle to correspond. The first floor was tenanted by Mr Cophagus,
who was a bachelor; the second floor was let; the others were
appropriated to the housekeeper, and to those who formed the
establishment. In this well-situated tenement, Mr Cophagus got on
swimmingly. I will therefore, for the present, sink the shop, that my
master may rise in the estimation of the reader, when I describe his
person and his qualifications.
Mr Phineas Cophagus might have been about forty-five years of age
when I first had the honour of an introduction to him in the receiving
room of the Foundling Hospital. He was of the middle height, his face
was thin, his nose very much hooked, his eyes small and peering, with
a good-humoured twinkle in them, his mouth large, and drawn down at
one corner. He was stout in his body, and carried a considerable
protuberance before him, which he was in the habit of patting with his
left hand very complacently; but although stout in his body, his legs
were mere spindles, so that, in his appearance, he reminded you of
some bird of the crane genus. Indeed, I may say, that his whole figure
gave you just such an impression as an orange might do, had it taken to
itself a couple of pieces of tobacco pipes as vehicles of locomotion. He
was dressed in a black coat and waistcoat, white cravat and high collar
to his shirt, blue cotton net pantaloons and Hessian boots, both fitting

so tight, that it appeared as if he was proud of his spindle shanks. His
hat was broad-brimmed and low, and he carried a stout black cane with
a gold top in his right hand, almost always raising the gold top to his
nose when he spoke, just as we see doctors represented at a
consultation in the caricature prints. But if his figure was strange, his
language and manners were still more so. He spoke, as some birds fly,
in jerks, intermixing his words, for he never completed a whole
sentence, with _um--um--_and ending it with "_so on,_" leaving his
hearers to supply the context from the heads of his discourse. Almost
always in motion, he generally changed his position as soon as he had
finished speaking, walking to any other part of the room, with his cane
to his nose, and his head cocked on one side, with a self-sufficient
tiptoe gait. When I was ushered into his presence, he was standing with
two of the governors. "This is the lad," said one of them, "his name is
Japhet."
"Japhet," replied Mr Cophagus; "um, scriptural--Shem, Ham,
_um_--and so on. Boy reads?"
"Very well, and writes a very good hand. He is a very good boy, Mr
Cophagus."
"Read--write--spell--good, and so on. Bring him
up--rudiments--spatula--write labels--um--M.D. one of these
days--make a man of him--and so on," said this strange personage,
walking round and round me with his cane to his nose, and scrutinising
my person with his twinkling eyes. I was dismissed after this
examination and approval, and the next day, dressed in a plain suit of
clothes, was delivered by the porter at the shop of Mr Phineas
Cophagus, who was not at home when I arrived.

Chapter II
Like all Tyros, I find the rudiments of learning extremely difficult and
laborious, but advance so rapidly than I can do without my Master.

A tall, fresh-coloured, but hectic looking young man, stood behind the
counter, making up prescriptions, and a dirty lad, about thirteen years
old, was standing near with his basket to deliver the medicines to the
several addresses, as soon as they were ready. The young man behind
the counter, whose name was Brookes, was within eighteen months of
serving his time, when his friends intended to establish him on his own
account, and this was the reason which induced Mr Cophagus to take
me, that I might learn the business, and