Japhet, in Search of a Father | Page 3

dear me, here's a paper!" exclaimed the old man.
"Vinegar and brown paper," echoed the old woman.
"Addressed to the governors of the hospital," continued the porter.

"Apply to the dispenser of the hospital," continued his wife.
"And sealed," said he.
"Get it healed," said she.
"The linen is good; it must be the child of no poor people. Who
knows?"--soliloquised the old man.
"My poor nose!" exclaimed the old woman.
"I must take it to the nurses, and the letter I will give to-morrow," said
the old porter, winding up his portion of this double soliloquy, and
tottering away with the basket and your humble servant across the
courtyard.
"There, it will do now," said the old wife, wiping her face on a towel,
and regaining her bed, in which she was soon joined by her husband,
and they finished their nap without any further interruption during that
night.
The next morning I was reported and examined, and the letter
addressed to the governors was opened and read. It was laconic, but
still, as most things laconic are, very much to the point.
"This child was born in wedlock--he is to be named Japhet. When
circumstances permit, he will be reclaimed."
But there was a postscript by Abraham Newlands, Esq., promising to
pay the bearer, on demand, the sum of fifty pounds. In plainer terms,
there was a bank note to that amount inclosed in the letter. As in
general, the parties who suspend children in baskets, have long before
suspended cash payments, or, at all events, forget to suspend them with
the baskets, my arrival created no little noise, to which I added my
share, until I obtained a share of the breast of a young woman, who,
like Charity, suckled two or three babies at one time.
We have preparatory schools all over the kingdom; for young

gentlemen, from three to five years of age, under ladies, and from four
to seven, under either, or both sexes, as it may happen; but the most
preparatory of all preparatory schools, is certainly the Foundling
Hospital, which takes in its pupils, if they are sent, from one to three
days old, or even hours, if the parents are in such extreme anxiety about
their education. Here it commences with their weaning, when they are
instructed in the mystery of devouring pap; next, they are taught to
walk--and as soon as they can walk--to sit still; to talk--and as soon as
they can talk--to hold their tongues; thus are they instructed and passed
on from one part of the establishment to another, until they finally are
passed out of its gates, to get on in the world, with the advantages of
some education, and the still further advantage of having no father or
mother to provide for, or relatives to pester them with their necessities.
It was so with me: I arrived at the age of fourteen, and notwithstanding
the promise contained in the letter, it appeared that circumstances did
not permit of my being reclaimed. But I had a great advantage over the
other inmates of the hospital; the fifty pounds sent with me were not
added to the funds of the establishment, but generously employed for
my benefit by the governors, who were pleased with my conduct, and
thought highly of my abilities. Instead of being bound 'prentice to a
cordwainer or some other mechanic, by the influence of the governors,
added to the fifty pounds and interest, as a premium, I was taken by an
apothecary, who engaged to bring me up to the profession. And now,
that I am out of the Foundling, we must not travel quite so fast.
The practitioner who thus took me by the hand was a Mr Phineas
Cophagus, whose house was most conveniently situated for business,
one side of the shop looking upon Smithfield Market, the other
presenting a surface of glass to the principal street leading out of the
same market. It was a corner house, but not in a corner. On each side
of the shop were two gin establishments, and next to them were two
public-houses and then two eating-houses, frequented by graziers,
butchers, and drovers. Did the men drink so much as to quarrel in their
cups, who was so handy to plaister up the broken heads as Mr
Cophagus? Did a fat grazier eat himself into an apoplexy, how very
convenient was the ready lancet of Mr Cophagus. Did a bull gore a man,
Mr Cophagus appeared with his diachylon and lint. Did an ox frighten

a lady, it was in the back parlour of Mr Cophagus that she was
recovered from her syncope. Market days were a sure market to my
master; and if an overdriven beast knocked down others, it only helped
to set him on