Hudibras | Page 6

were storm'd and beaten out, 325 Ne'er left the fortify'd redoubt.?And tho' Knights Errant, as some think,?Of old did neither eat nor drink,?Because, when thorough desarts vast,?And regions desolate, they past, 330 Where belly-timber above ground,?Or under, was not to be found,?Unless they graz'd, there's not one word?Of their provision on record;?Which made some confidently write, 335 They had no stomachs, but to fight.?'Tis false: for ARTHUR wore in hall?Round table like a farthingal,?On which with shirt pull'd out behind,?And eke before, his good Knights din'd. 340 Though 'twas no table, some suppose,?But a huge pair of round trunk hose;?In which he carry'd as much meat?As he and all the Knights cou'd eat,?When, laying by their swords and truncheons, 345 They took their breakfasts, or their nuncheons.?But let that pass at present, lest?We should forget where we digrest,?As learned authors use, to whom?We leave it, and to th' purpose come, 350
His puissant sword unto his side,?Near his undaunted heart, was ty'd;?With basket-hilt, that wou'd hold broth,?And serve for fight and dinner both.?In it he melted lead for bullets, 355 To shoot at foes, and sometimes pullets,?To whom he bore so fell a grutch,?He ne'er gave quarter t' any such.?The trenchant blade, Toledo trusty,?For want of fighting, was grown rusty, 360 And ate unto itself, for lack?Of somebody to hew and hack.?The peaceful scabbard where it dwelt?The rancour of its edge had felt;?For of the lower end two handful 365 It had devour'd, 'twas so manful;?And so much scorn'd to lurk in case,?As if it durst not shew its face.?In many desperate attempts,?Of warrants, exigents, contempts, 370 It had appear'd with courage bolder?Than Serjeant BUM invading shoulder.?Oft had it ta'en possession,?And pris'ners too, or made them run.
This sword a dagger had t' his page, 375 That was but little for his age;?And therefore waited on him so,?As dwarfs upon Knights Errant do.?It was a serviceable dudgeon,?Either for fighting or for drudging. 380 When it had stabb'd, or broke a head,?It would scrape trenchers, or chip bread;?Toast cheese or bacon; tho' it were?To bait a mouse-trap, 'twould not care.?'Twould make clean shoes; and in the earth 385 Set leeks and onions, and so forth.?It had been 'prentice to a brewer,?Where this and more it did endure;?But left the trade, as many more?Have lately done on the same score. 390
In th' holsters, at his saddle-bow,?Two aged pistols he did stow,?Among the surplus of such meat?As in his hose he cou'd not get.?These wou'd inveigle rats with th' scent, 395 To forage when the cocks were bent;?And sometimes catch 'em with a snap?As cleverly as th' ablest trap.?They were upon hard duty still,?And ev'ry night stood centinel, 400 To guard the magazine i' th' hose?From two-legg'd and from four-legg'd foes.
Thus clad and fortify'd, Sir Knight?From peaceful home set forth to fight.?But first with nimble, active force 405 He got on th' outside of his horse;?For having but one stirrup ty'd?T' his saddle, on the further side,?It was so short, h' had much ado?To reach it with his desp'rate toe: 410 But, after many strains and heaves,?He got up to the saddle-eaves,?From whence he vaulted into th' seat,?With so much vigour, strength and heat,?That he had almost tumbled over 415 With his own weight, but did recover,?By laying hold on tail and main,?Which oft he us'd instead of rein.
But now we talk of mounting steed,?Before we further do proceed, 420 It doth behoves us to say something?Of that which bore our valiant bumkin.?The beast was sturdy, large, and tall,?With mouth of meal, and eyes of wall.?I wou'd say eye; for h' had but one, 425 As most agree; tho' some say none.?He was well stay'd; and in his gait?Preserv'd a grave, majestick state.?At spur or switch no more he skipt,?Or mended pace, than Spaniard whipt; 430 And yet so fiery, he wou'd bound?As if he griev'd to touch the ground:?That CAESAR's horse , who, as fame goes?Had corns upon his feet and toes,?Was not by half so tender hooft, 435 Nor trod upon the ground so soft.?And as that beast would kneel and stoop?(Some write) to take his rider up,?So HUDIBRAS his ('tis well known)?Wou'd often do to set him down. 440 We shall not need to say what lack?Of leather was upon his back;?For that was hidden under pad,?And breech of Knight, gall'd full as bad.?His strutting ribs on both sides show'd 445 Like furrows he himself had plow'd;?For underneath the skirt of pannel,?'Twixt ev'ry two there was a channel?His draggling tail hung in the dirt,?Which on his rider he wou'd flurt, 450 Still as his tender side he prick'd,?With arm'd heel, or with unarm'd kick'd:?For HUDIBRAS wore but one spur;?As wisely knowing, cou'd he stir?To active trot one side of's horse, 455 The other wou'd not hang an arse.
A squire