them had a navel:?Who first made music malleable:?Whether the serpent, at the fall,?Had cloven feet, or none at all.?All this, without a gloss, or comment, 185 He could unriddle in a moment,?In proper terms, such as men smatter?When they throw out, and miss the matter.
For his Religion, it was fit?To match his learning and his wit; 190 'Twas Presbyterian true blue;?For he was of that stubborn crew?Of errant saints, whom all men grant?To be the true Church Militant;?Such as do build their faith upon 195 The holy text of pike and gun;?Decide all controversies by?Infallible artillery;?And prove their doctrine orthodox?By apostolic blows and knocks; 200 Call fire and sword and desolation,?A godly thorough reformation,?Which always must be carried on,?And still be doing, never done;?As if religion were intended 205 For nothing else but to be mended.?A sect, whose chief devotion lies?In odd perverse antipathies;?In falling out with that or this,?And finding somewhat still amiss; 210 More peevish, cross, and splenetick,?Than dog distract, or monkey sick.?That with more care keep holy-day?The wrong, than others the right way;?Compound for sins they are inclin'd to, 215 By damning those they have no mind to:?Still so perverse and opposite,?As if they worshipp'd God for spite.?The self-same thing they will abhor?One way, and long another for. 220 Free-will they one way disavow,?Another, nothing else allow:?All piety consists therein?In them, in other men all sin:?Rather than fail, they will defy 225 That which they love most tenderly;?Quarrel with minc'd-pies, and disparage?Their best and dearest friend, plum-porridge;?Fat pig and goose itself oppose,?And blaspheme custard through the nose. 230 Th' apostles of this fierce religion,?Like MAHOMET'S, were ass and pidgeon,?To whom our knight, by fast instinct?Of wit and temper, was so linkt,?As if hypocrisy and nonsense 235 Had got th' advowson of his conscience.
Thus was he gifted and accouter'd;?We mean on th' inside, not the outward;?That next of all we shall discuss:?Then listen, Sirs, it follows thus 240 His tawny beard was th' equal grace?Both of his wisdom and his face;?In cut and dye so like a tile,?A sudden view it would beguile:?The upper part thereof was whey; 245 The nether, orange mix'd with grey.?This hairy meteor did denounce?The fall of scepters and of crowns;?With grisly type did represent?Declining age of government; 250 And tell with hieroglyphick spade,?Its own grave and the state's were made.?Like SAMPSON'S heart-breakers, it grew?In time to make a nation rue;?Tho' it contributed its own fall, 255 To wait upon the publick downfal,?It was monastick, and did grow?In holy orders by strict vow;?Of rule as sullen and severe?As that of rigid Cordeliere. 260 'Twas bound to suffer persecution?And martyrdom with resolution;?T' oppose itself against the hate?And vengeance of th' incensed state;?In whose defiance it was worn, 265 Still ready to be pull'd and torn;?With red-hot irons to be tortur'd;?Revil'd, and spit upon, and martyr'd.?Maugre all which, 'twas to stand fast?As long as monarchy shou'd last; 270 But when the state should hap to reel,?'Twas to submit to fatal steel,?And fall, as it was consecrate,?A sacrifice to fall of state;?Whose thread of life the fatal sisters 275 Did twist together with its whiskers,?And twine so close, that time should never,?In life or death, their fortunes sever;?But with his rusty sickle mow?Both down together at a blow. 280 So learned TALIACOTIUS from?The brawny part of porter's bum?Cut supplemental noses, which?Wou'd last as long as parent breech;?But when the date of NOCK was out, 285 Off drop'd the sympathetic snout.
His back, or rather burthen, show'd,?As if it stoop'd with its own load:?For as AENEAS bore his sire?Upon his shoulders thro' the fire, 290 Our Knight did bear no less a pack?Of his own buttocks on his back;?Which now had almost got the upperHand?of his head, for want of crupper.?To poise this equally, he bore 295 A paunch of the same bulk before;?Which still he had a special care?To keep well-cramm'd with thrifty fare;?As white-pot, butter-milk, and curds,?Such as a country-house affords; 300 With other vittle, which anon?We farther shall dilate upon,?When of his hose we come to treat,?The cupboard where he kept his meat.
His doublet was of sturdy buff, 305 And tho' not sword, yet cudgel-proof;?Whereby 'twas fitter for his use,?Who fear'd no blows, but such as bruise.
His breeches were of rugged woollen,?And had been at the siege of Bullen; 310 To old King HARRY so well known,?Some writers held they were his own.?Thro' they were lin'd with many a piece?Of ammunition bread and cheese,?And fat black-puddings, proper food 315 For warriors that delight in blood.?For, as we said, he always chose?To carry vittle in his hose,?That often tempted rats and mice?The ammunition to surprise: 320 And when he put a hand but in?The one or t' other magazine,?They stoutly in defence on't stood,?And from the wounded foe drew blood;?And 'till th'
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