Hudibras | Page 8

and then betray 'em.

They'll search a planet's
house, to know
Who broke and robb'd a house below: 590 Examine
VENUS, and the MOON,
Who stole a thimble or a spoon;
And tho'
they nothing will confess,
Yet by their very looks can guess,
And
tell what guilty aspect bodes, 595 Who stole, and who receiv'd the
goods.
They'll question MARS, and, by his look,
Detect who 'twas

that nimm'd a cloke:
Make MERCURY confess, and 'peach
Those
thieves which he himself did teach. 600 They'll find, i' th'
physiognomies
O' th' planets, all men's destinies.;
Like him that
took the doctor's bill,
And swallow'd it instead o' th' pill
Cast the
nativity o' th' question, 605 And from positions to be guess'd on,
As
sure as it' they knew the moment
Of natives birth, tell what will come
on't.
They'll feel the pulses of the stars,
To find out agues, coughs,
catarrhs; 610 And tell what crisis does divine
The rot in sheep, or
mange in swine
In men, what gives or cures the itch;
What makes
them cuckolds, poor or rich;
What gains or loses, hangs or saves; 615
What makes men great, what fools or knaves,
But not what wise; for
only of those
The stars (they say) cannot dispose,
No more than can
the Astrologians.
There they say right, and like true Trojans.
This
RALPHO knew, and therefore took 620 The other course, of which we
spoke.
Thus was the accomplish'd Squire endu'd
With gifts and knowledge,
per'lous shrew'd.
Never did trusty Squire with Knight,
Or Knight
with Squire, e'er jump more right. 625 Their arms and equipage did fit,

As well as virtues, parts, and wit.
Their valours too were of a rate;

And out they sally'd at the gate. 630 Few miles on horseback had
they jogged,
But Fortune unto them turn'd dogged;
For they a sad
adventure met,
Of which anon we mean to treat;
But ere we venture
to unfold 635 Atchievements so resolv'd and bold,
We shou'd as
learned poets use,
Invoke th' assistance of some muse:
However,
criticks count it sillier
Than jugglers talking to familiar. 640 We think
'tis no great matter which
They're all alike; yet we shall pitch
On
one that fits our purpose most
Whom therefore thus do we accost:
Thou that with ale, or viler liquors, 645 Did'st inspire WITHERS,
PRYN , and VICKARS,
And force them, tho' it was in spite
Of
nature and their stars, to write;
Who, as we find in sullen writs,
And
cross-grain'd works of modern wits, 650 With vanity, opinion, want,

The wonder of the ignorant,
The praises of the author, penn'd
B'

himself, or wit-insuring friend;
The itch of picture in the front, 655
With bays and wicked rhyme upon't;
All that is left o' th' forked hill,

To make men scribble without skill;
Canst make a poet spite of
fate,
And teach all people to translate, 660 Tho' out of languages in
which
They understand no part of speech;
Assist me but this once, I
'mplore,
And I shall trouble thee no more.
In western clime there is a town, 665 To those that dwell therein well
known;
Therefore there needs no more be said here,
We unto them
refer our reader;
For brevity is very good,
When w' are, or are not,
understood. 670 To this town people did repair,
On days of market, or
of fair,
And, to crack'd fiddle, and hoarse tabor,
In merriment did
drudge and labor.
But now a sport more formidable 675 Had rak'd
together village rabble:
'Twas an old way of recreating,
Which
learned butchers call bear-baiting:
A bold advent'rous exercise,

With ancient heroes in high prize: 680 For authors do affirm it came

From Isthmian or Nemean game:
Others derive it from the bear

That's fix'd in northern hemisphere,
And round about the pole does
make 685 A circle like a bear at stake,
That at the chain's end wheels
about,
And overturns the rabble-rout.
For after solemn proclamation,

In the bear's name, (as is the fashion, 690 According to the law of
arms,
To keep men from inglorious harms,)
That none presume to
come so near
As forty foot of stake of bear,
If any yet be so
fool-hardy, 695 T' expose themselves to vain jeopardy,
If they come
wounded off, and lame,
No honour's got by such a maim;
Altho' the
bear gain much, b'ing bound
In honour to make good his ground, 700
When he's engag'd, and takes no notice,
If any press upon him, who
'tis;
But let's them know, at their own cost,
That he intends to keep
his post.

This to prevent, and other harms, 705 Which always wait on
feats of arms,
(For in the hurry of a fray
'Tis hard to keep out of
harm's way,)
Thither the Knight his course did steer,
To keep the
peace 'twixt dog and bear; 710 As he believ'd he was bound to do
In
conscience, and commission too;
And therefore thus bespoke the

Squire.
We that

are wisely mounted higher
Than constables in curule wit,

When on tribunal bench we sit,
Like speculators shou'd foresee,

From Pharos of authority,
Portended mischiefs farther then
Low
Proletarian tything-men: 720 And therefore being inform'd by bruit,

That dog and bear are to dispute;
For so of late men fighting name,

Because they often prove the same;
(For where the first does hap to
be, 725 The